She wasn't kidding.

Sometimes I look at people, and I think... You're kidding me, right?

They aren't. They never are.

And I should have learned that by now, but I haven't.

Which may explain why I laughed when the next door neighbor warned me. That is, when she warned me that my 9 month old son could, you know, see up my skirt from his vantage point on the floor. It may also explain that abjectly horrified face she made in response to my laughter.

Whoa there! Thanks for the reality check lady. I still take baths with my kid, but you're right. If he looks up my skirt one more time that just might make him into some sort of perverted social pariah. One minute he's looking up my skirt, and the next minute he'll be putting mirrors on his shoes to sneak a peak at those other hot moms in Gymboree. Then I'll blink again, and he'll be arrested after being spotted half naked in the bushes outside of people's houses.

Guess you've got to catch them early, huh?

News bulletin.

Quick update while I'm packing for the lovely Oregon coast.

Oliver crawls now. For real. None of that belly dragging stuff we've seen before, this is the real deal.

All it took was some rug burn on his tummy after a bath.


Gosoh darn, who woulda thunk it?

We're back.

We've made it back from West Virginia. I really want to write about that but I really also want to wait for my photos, so instead you get this.

Since my return, I've come to a few realizations:

1. I need to work on my housecleaning skills. Something about coming home to the stink of rotting baby feces made this an easy conclusion to jump to. Just because you tuck the poop into a diaper pail, doesn't mean it won't stink to high heavens in a week. Also, take note that carpet is ridiculously good at harboring odors.

2. Sometimes Jared is compelled to do weird things. Things I don't understand. I need to allow him to do these things,  assuming that, A.) he isn't going to break anything  B.) it doesn't make a mess for me and C.) it isn't against the law. He is currently and has been for the last 3 hours obsessed with picking a lock he found while on a walk this afternoon. I have been cleaning the kitchen, listening to the click click click of metal while Jared tries to shake it open. It is kind of driving me crazy, and he doesn't intend to stop at that lock. He wants to learn to pop open our doors, too.

3. I need to lay off the cookies. And ice cream. And cupcakes. Moving & traveling has not been kind to me. I had made good progress on weight loss front, but then while we were packing and moving and on the road... I just didn't have time or energy to make food. So we resorted to frozen pizzas. Cookies. Fast food. I kind of forgot that I was trying to be healthy. Today I stepped on the scale and my true reaction was: "Wow. That was fast. Kind of impressive in a depressing way." And then I checked to see if I had ripped myself any new stretch marks. (I hadn't.)

So! To deal with these three obstacles, I have devised a three part plan.

1. I'm going to try to follow FlyLady. Jared's mom told me about her, and  I'll see how well I do. It is a set of very simple steps that you do each day to keep your house clean. I can do simple. I can do babysteps. The website is really tacky but the content makes sense. I can stand by her mantra for overcoming the overwhelming feelings of clearing the clutter: "I'm not behind, I'm just beginning." Tonight I am going to bed with a shiny sink waiting to greet me in the morning.

2. I am going to get back to reading books. When Jared is doing weird things, I am just going to go in another room and pretend I don't notice. I get that he must do these things, but they tend to be things that drive me nuts. So,  I really think that would be a good idea to institute a don't ask don't tell policy around here. I've always been meaning to read more books, so while he is being weird, I will become edumacated. There are a lot of books I've been wanting to read, and this will give me plenty of time. Trust me. (I could have read War & Peace ten times over if you count the hours he spent using the laser level on our pictures.)

3. I'm getting back on the homemade food wagon. If I couple that with my cleaning activities and walking club twice a week, I should go back to making headway on the scales. The key is to remember that I can't eat what Jared eats, and that no one is here to scold me if I don't end up in the clean plate club.



P.S. Oliver would like you all to know that he is starting his birthday list early. He wants a ride-on toy (preferably with removable sides and push handle), something to hold bath toys (and a few more bath toys), 24 months clothing, and some exposed electrical outlets and/or sharp scissors to play with.

P.P.S. We used a gift card to buy him this Yookidoo bath toy, and it really is awesome. But beware! It may cause your baby to splash outside the tub and/or get a face full of water. Really is very cool though. Yookidoo makes a lot of neat toys, actually.

We're here.

We made it here on Friday. Here being West Virginia. Let me tell you, there are some pieces of work that live on the sides of mountains. And it is mighty spooky outside after dark.

Every time I step outside after nightfall, I picture cannibals and/or serial killers weirdos. (Think Ed Gein - sure, he was a bit weird but everyone in his tiny town in the middle of nowhere thought he was alright. Except  when they found  one day that he collected shrunken heads and made furniture slip covers out of human skin. And no one even noticed the murdering because, well, it was Small Town USA and there is no one to hear you scream. I rest my case.)

And when I step outside, all I can hear is this:




(And for those of you who haven't seen the movie Deliverance, well, you ought to. Especially before you go about traveling on any mountain roads.)


I'll give you actual updates later, as I need to get out the camera cord to upload the pictures of our travels.

Packing up & moving out.

We're trying to get everything ready for our trip tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. We leave tomorrow. We have nothing done and everything to do. I made the house quite nice, but then my friend Jess came and, well, you know how things get. There are pillows from the sleepover on the floor and waffle plates that still need to be cleaned. I guess that's the price you pay.

But anyway. This just reminds me how much I hate packing all of Oliver's stuff. He has a lot. He can't survive off of a few pairs of underwear, deodorant, & a toothbrush, which are the only things I consider essential when I pack. I have to really think long and hard about what he needs, and planning like that isn't my forte.

Yesterday we went to the grocery store to buy him some nasty jarred delights for the road. Mmm... Mac & Cheese in a jar, anyone? What about jarred beef & veggies? He eats them, so I guess they can't be that bad.

Right now I'm letting him "escape" into the kitchen so he can pull all of the jars of baby food out of the grocery bag. I got out all of his toys, some of them new, to entertain him so that I could clean up while he played. He ignored them all. He is currently delighted because he's playing with a jar of sweet potatoes and he thinks I'm not watching. He has been playing with that same jar for the last 15 minutes. One jar of food wins out over all of the toys I tried to convince him to play with.... in what way does that make sense? You're right. It doesn't.

I woke up this morning thinking, alright, nose to the grindstone, I'll get all of this done early so I can relax and go to bed early this evening.

It isn't happening.

I made myself breakfast, and tried to eat it but somebody kept crawling over and eating my food. I think I only got half a piece of toast, and I know he ate the whole yolk of my hard boiled egg. 1/4 of my banana is in my tummy, 1/4 is on the rug, 1/8 is in his hair, and the remaining 3/8 is in his belly. I feel like a kid at fat camp because I have to hide in a corner to eat my food, lest somebody comes to take it away from me.

He will eat anything I'm eating. He will reject a lot of foods in a jar, and twice as many mashed up foods, but if I am eating it, he will eat it too. Chips and salsa? Great! Love it. Green beans, broccoli, cauliflower? Only if I'm eating it. I've let him eat so much food that isn't very good for him, because... well, it isn't good for me when I eat it either, and surely a little fried rice never hurt anyone? We won't even start on the Wendy's Frosty that we shared last week.

So anyway. I'm about to go put him down for a nap so I can start getting things done. Peace out, internets.

We might fill with laughter until we break.

I guess I haven't written much lately because nothing has really happened. It can be awfully hard to write about nothing. We've been sitting around the apartment being a family. It is uniquely refreshing.

Yesterday we were cruising down the highway with Natalie Merchant and the 10,000 Maniac's These Are Days playing on the iPod, and it was nice to just kick back and say "Yes!" to the lyrics. Yes. These are days we'll remember.  Yes, I do know it's true that I am blessed and lucky. It is true that I'm part of miracles I see in every hour. Yes, yes, yes to it all.

It is a corny song but I've always loved it just because it makes me feel so good inside. One of my guilty pleasure iPod picks. I dare you to drive down a country road with the windows open and that song playing and not feel happy with your lot in life. Yesterday was just a good reminder that we are taking on the world and totally kicking ass, just the three of us. That everything has always been and will be okay somehow. I really believe that.

But anyway! Things are going to start happening soon. We'll be roadtripping it to West Virgina for our niece's birthday party and family gathering, and shortly after we get back we're leaving for the scenic Oregon coast.

I may have nothing to write about for the time being, but let me assure you... One cannot come out on the other side of a family roadtrip without some outlandish tales of agony/embarrassment/delightful mishaps to share. Brace yourself.

_______________________

P.S. This is one of the most ridiculous videos I've ever seen in my life. Disregard the images, listen to the music!



Lyrics:


These are days you'll remember.
Never before and never since,
I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.

These are days you'll remember.
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour. You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.

These are days.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.

We have a pool

To make up for my lack of interesting blog fodder, I'm just going to post some pictures of Oliver in our pool.

He was unsure at first. He really didn't seem to care about it at all.

And then we accidentally dunked him, and he decided he was having fun. Weird, weird boy...

Also, my fuschia bloomed yesterday. Isn't it pretty?

Home sweet boxes.

We have a lot of stuff unpacked. You can look at the big mountains of empty boxes, so you know that stuff had to go somewhere... right? But if you were just peeking into our apartment right now, you'd think we just moved all of our stuff in yesterday.

Progress is slow. we don't know where to put stuff. We have storage space, but we're at a loss as to how to organize it. I want some sort of coherence to my storage - is that so much to ask?

Somebody is coming by today to take my old bedroom set and the dining room table that I like so much. We just don't have space, and the mentality I've been trying to hold throughout this move has been: easy come, easy go. Pass a good deal onto somebody else while freeing my mind from the clutter.

We're selling the bedroom set I had for the price we paid for our new bedroom set in the As-Is section in Ikea. The table $ I'm hoping will go towards some barstools.

We need to get some colour up in here. I'm drowning in the neutral tones. Neutral just isn't my thing. Neutral feels like nursing home. The happy shower curtain I bought is going to be my inspiration.

Home.

We're moved in now. I mean, we're physically here, but... mentally, not so much.

We are so tired. And we ahven't started to unpack yet.