People say stupid things to me. Here are things people have said to me that made me laugh. Some will be left anonymous so as not to embarrass the people I actually know.
1. Check out lady at Target, while I was still pregnant. (To Jared in high pitch voice) "Aren't you excited? You're going to have a little brother!"
2. Creepy bum outside 24 hour CVS. "You must have money, you have a baby. Spare some change for my bus fare?"
3. "Where did your belly go?" - Stupid blonde girl I used to have classes with whose name I can't recall, said while I was holding Oliver, then 2 weeks old.
4. "Its almost like he is a tiny human being." - Woman waiting at pharmacy.
5. "Nursing hurts your nips like a bitch, doesn't it!?" - Large black woman with a grill, while I was nursing O in public.
6. "I read your blog." -Alain, at Oliver's first party.
7. "Will that just fall off later, or what?" - Friend commenting on the uncircumsized nature of my son's penis.
8. "You know that means he'll be a porn star later, right?" -Separate friend commenting on uncircumsized son's penis.
9. "Its amazing nipples can do that and not break." - Relative, while I was pumping breastmilk.
10. "Isn't it great to know that there is life in your breasts?" - Target check out lady, after asking if I was breastfeeding. I don't exactly understand what she meant by that.
11. "I call that one Sally" - Jared, after I asked him which breast's turn it was.
12. "He looks like Grover Cleveland without the mustache." - Kind Old Man.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Reflux, what have you done with my baby!?
Hmm. I've skipped a lot of stuff. My apologies for htat. Its jsut such a pain in the butt to post anything because my internet could be outrun by Oliver, who would actually get around quite well if he learned not to drag his head. (Why does he drag his head? I don't know. He can lift it up just fine. I usually only need to support his head while he's sleeping. So... you'd think when he is so busy trying to crawl to fall off of the edge of the bed, he'd hold his head up but.. no. Thats not how he rolls. Its like he only wants to move when there is a chance of him a.) reaching my dirty floors or b.) falling off whatever object I've placed him on.)
Here is what you've missed:
1. Umm.. about a pound and a half. He is an ounce shy of being a 12 pounder.
2. He rolls! Well... mostly. Only from his stomach to his back. He pushes up on his arms and basiclly throws his head to one side and the momentum knocks him onto his back. At least he knows how to use his big head to his advantage. Smart. :)
3. I've ordered his photos, so you should be getting them soon. You guys are like wolves when it comes to baby pictures.
4. He got thrush, and also he has reflux. He has been cranky. I was starting to get upset with him constantly crying, but now that I know its because he is owie I feel better. We started him on his baby Zantac today so we hsould be seeing an improvement soon. It was trying btu I'm feeling a lot better about it now.
I'd like to write more but the internet guy is here and Jared is going to write a lab report on the computer. BUT: here are the things that have gotten us through the crying:
1. SwaddleMe... I can't say how much I love those things.
2. Graco noise maker. YES, we spent money on something that makes noise. We call it the alien pod. He loves it and sleeps better with it on. Unfortunately, that means Jared & I also get to listen to its creepy heartbeat sounds NONSTOP.
3. Pump in Style. Dang, pumping is easier sometimes than feeding screaming baby. Pump in Style allows me to pump in style, if that style is nipples that are sucked to a grosteque size and shape. But anyway... it works well and I love it.
4. Neglector & Neglectron. That is what we've nicknamed the swing and the bouncy seat. They let us take a shower, or sometimes even eat dinner with both hands. Amazing.
5. Moby wrap. He loves the moby. Its a bit of an act to get it on, but once he is in it he stays happy for hours. Its worth looking a bit like an idiot putting it on in the grocery store.
Also.. next post I will 0try to tell you the Epic Poop Story. It was a poop like never before, and it deserves to be immortalized in type.
Here is what you've missed:
1. Umm.. about a pound and a half. He is an ounce shy of being a 12 pounder.
2. He rolls! Well... mostly. Only from his stomach to his back. He pushes up on his arms and basiclly throws his head to one side and the momentum knocks him onto his back. At least he knows how to use his big head to his advantage. Smart. :)
3. I've ordered his photos, so you should be getting them soon. You guys are like wolves when it comes to baby pictures.
4. He got thrush, and also he has reflux. He has been cranky. I was starting to get upset with him constantly crying, but now that I know its because he is owie I feel better. We started him on his baby Zantac today so we hsould be seeing an improvement soon. It was trying btu I'm feeling a lot better about it now.
I'd like to write more but the internet guy is here and Jared is going to write a lab report on the computer. BUT: here are the things that have gotten us through the crying:
1. SwaddleMe... I can't say how much I love those things.
2. Graco noise maker. YES, we spent money on something that makes noise. We call it the alien pod. He loves it and sleeps better with it on. Unfortunately, that means Jared & I also get to listen to its creepy heartbeat sounds NONSTOP.
3. Pump in Style. Dang, pumping is easier sometimes than feeding screaming baby. Pump in Style allows me to pump in style, if that style is nipples that are sucked to a grosteque size and shape. But anyway... it works well and I love it.
4. Neglector & Neglectron. That is what we've nicknamed the swing and the bouncy seat. They let us take a shower, or sometimes even eat dinner with both hands. Amazing.
5. Moby wrap. He loves the moby. Its a bit of an act to get it on, but once he is in it he stays happy for hours. Its worth looking a bit like an idiot putting it on in the grocery store.
Also.. next post I will 0try to tell you the Epic Poop Story. It was a poop like never before, and it deserves to be immortalized in type.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Ode to Jared
Jared is sick so he's kind of out of commission so I am going to write a list of good things about him that I can remind myself of while I deal with piles of Kleenex and whining for chicken noodle.
Here goes, top ten reasons Jared is an awesome dad:
1. As soon as he comes home from school, he washes his hands and immediately goes to pick up the baby and say hello.
2. He wakes up at night and brings Oliver to me for feedings so I don't have to get out of bed.
3. He takes out the bags of poop diapers to the trash when the diaper pail is full.
4. He sings songs to Oliver that actually make him stop crying.
5. He will do everything I do for Oliver, even though sometimes it takes him a lot longer.
6. He says "goodnight" and "I love you" to Oliver at bedtime.
7. He pretends to speak for Oliver and says "I love you, mommy, but I pooped!"
8. He watched almost ten pounds of baby come out of me and he said it was really cool to see. But even after watching that, he still says I look good even though I smell like breastmilk, my stretchmarks are still angry looking, and I don't have any clothes that fit me well.
9. He asks if I could hold off on giving O a bath because he wants to do it when he gets home from school.
10. Even though our lives have gotten a lot harder and he has to juggle his school work, he is always saying how glad he is that Oliver is here and how happy he is to be a family.
I love you, Jared! Feel better soon. :)
Here goes, top ten reasons Jared is an awesome dad:
1. As soon as he comes home from school, he washes his hands and immediately goes to pick up the baby and say hello.
2. He wakes up at night and brings Oliver to me for feedings so I don't have to get out of bed.
3. He takes out the bags of poop diapers to the trash when the diaper pail is full.
4. He sings songs to Oliver that actually make him stop crying.
5. He will do everything I do for Oliver, even though sometimes it takes him a lot longer.
6. He says "goodnight" and "I love you" to Oliver at bedtime.
7. He pretends to speak for Oliver and says "I love you, mommy, but I pooped!"
8. He watched almost ten pounds of baby come out of me and he said it was really cool to see. But even after watching that, he still says I look good even though I smell like breastmilk, my stretchmarks are still angry looking, and I don't have any clothes that fit me well.
9. He asks if I could hold off on giving O a bath because he wants to do it when he gets home from school.
10. Even though our lives have gotten a lot harder and he has to juggle his school work, he is always saying how glad he is that Oliver is here and how happy he is to be a family.
I love you, Jared! Feel better soon. :)
Monday, October 12, 2009
This is going to be a rough week.
Well.. I'm tired. Jared is tired. Our babysitting recruits are all sick so we're kind of stuck toughing it out on our own.
I'm getting tired of the house being all messy and I just wish all of this laundry could get done. We got a notice in the mail last weekend saying that I was denied MA. Thats just great. Why was I denied? Because I'm not a legal citizen and I have other health insurance? Both of those things are incorrect. I ahve to file an appeal now, but I don't really understand how, so I have to go in to the social workers at the Student Parent Help Center. They'll help me get it all figured out, but in the mean time its just one more thing I have to do.
Apparently the hospital found out that I was denied before I did because I've started getting bunches of bills asking me to pay the full amount. Besides those bills, I've got our usual bills & utilities to pay. It sucks to just have a pile of bills sitting on the counter waiting to be paid, its very stressful.
Stress has been the name of the game this weekend, too. Jared has three midterms this week so he was literally studying all weekend long. That meant that I couldn't unload the baby onto him too often, and that we didn't get any time to just relax and watch a movie together or anything.
Yesterday evening was horrible. I drove to the store (again!) and I was so tired that I just kept driving and driving until I realized that I wasn't heading in the right direction anymore. Then when I got to the store it was PACKED with people and I forgot what I was there for and I really wanted to start crying in the baby section. I managed to get it all together to finish my shopping and things were going better, but then a bunch of other little things went wrong. The toilet got clogged again, I ran out of dishsoap and couldn't find the new bottle I got, Oliver decided he was only happy if somebody was holding him.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when I had to nurse on lefty and Oliver got latched on wrong. My left side was already sore from an earlier time when I made a loud noise while he was nursing and he jerked his head (with my nipple in his mouth) when he startled. Then he had his mouth clamped onto just my nipple and it hurt so much that I wasn't thinking right and I just tried to pull my boob away without breaking suction first. For those that have never breastfed before, that really hurts. A lot. It made me cry. So then last night when he got latched on incorrectly to my already sore nipple I just couldn't do it anymore. I sort of just gave up on taking care of Oliver or anything else for the night. I just needed a break.
Jared was really sweet to me about it all. I went to bed and slept through O's late night feeding. Jared gave him a bottle and I got to rest for a while without having the anxiety of wondering when the baby monitor was going to go off next. I feel more rested today but I don't know how long it will last because Jared will be unavailable all day today. He stayed up all night studying & taking care of Oliver, now he is taking a test, then he will come home to take a nap, and then he will go back onto campus to take another test.
But ANYWAY. I'm tired of thinking about that so here is a list of things that have helped me a lot in taking care of Oliver. For the pregnant folk who read this blog, you may want to take note:
1. SwaddleMe blanket wraps. Oliver sleeps ten times longer if he's wrapped up in a swaddle, but he can break out of every brand except the SwaddleMe brand. Next time I go to Babies R Us I'm going to pick up another one because he keeps pooping on them.
2. Lansinoh lanolin. Ever since left boob's trauma, the Lansinoh has really helped to make it feel better. It smells and looks nasty but it works.
3. Itzbeen timer. This might sound useless, but Itzbeen is basically a bunch of timers that count how long it has been since the last time you changed a diaper, fed him, etc. I honestly can't remember the last tiem I did anything so its good to know the last time he ate so I can decide if he is fussing to eat or fussing because he's just unhappy. It also has a little switch on it to remind you which side you should nurse on next. Incredibly useful.
4. MyBrestFriend nursing pillow. This pillow is way better than the Boppy pillow. The Boppy is too rounded and the baby either rolls off the pillow or rolls too far forward towards me. The BrestFriend is flat and firm so O can just lie all comfy on his side with perfect access to my boobs. PLUS! The bonus to this pillow is that it straps on around my back so that I can stand up and move around without really disturbing his nursing session too much. I just wish that the BrestFriend was easier to find, because I want another cover to fix all of the leaking and laundry problems I have with it.
5. Warmy pack. Having the warm pack has been great. I've used it on my back. I've used it to cuddle up to for a nice sleep. The best use for it is on my boobs. If I put heat on my boobs, I'm able to pump a significantly larger quantity in a shorter amount of time. Plus it feels good.
6. Dr. Brown's bottles. O has become a bottle snob and he likes the Dr. Brown's ones the best. He'll take the Avent bottles also but 1. he seems to swallow more air with them because he burps a bunch after using them and 2. I have a hard time using them without having them leak. I already ahve breast milk leaking out of my boobs, I don't need it leaking out of the bottle too.
Hmm.. I wonder when I'll get the chance to end a blog on my own times. Oliver is awake and hungry again. So, I guess I'll post again later. Wish us luck on making it through this week.
I'm getting tired of the house being all messy and I just wish all of this laundry could get done. We got a notice in the mail last weekend saying that I was denied MA. Thats just great. Why was I denied? Because I'm not a legal citizen and I have other health insurance? Both of those things are incorrect. I ahve to file an appeal now, but I don't really understand how, so I have to go in to the social workers at the Student Parent Help Center. They'll help me get it all figured out, but in the mean time its just one more thing I have to do.
Apparently the hospital found out that I was denied before I did because I've started getting bunches of bills asking me to pay the full amount. Besides those bills, I've got our usual bills & utilities to pay. It sucks to just have a pile of bills sitting on the counter waiting to be paid, its very stressful.
Stress has been the name of the game this weekend, too. Jared has three midterms this week so he was literally studying all weekend long. That meant that I couldn't unload the baby onto him too often, and that we didn't get any time to just relax and watch a movie together or anything.
Yesterday evening was horrible. I drove to the store (again!) and I was so tired that I just kept driving and driving until I realized that I wasn't heading in the right direction anymore. Then when I got to the store it was PACKED with people and I forgot what I was there for and I really wanted to start crying in the baby section. I managed to get it all together to finish my shopping and things were going better, but then a bunch of other little things went wrong. The toilet got clogged again, I ran out of dishsoap and couldn't find the new bottle I got, Oliver decided he was only happy if somebody was holding him.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when I had to nurse on lefty and Oliver got latched on wrong. My left side was already sore from an earlier time when I made a loud noise while he was nursing and he jerked his head (with my nipple in his mouth) when he startled. Then he had his mouth clamped onto just my nipple and it hurt so much that I wasn't thinking right and I just tried to pull my boob away without breaking suction first. For those that have never breastfed before, that really hurts. A lot. It made me cry. So then last night when he got latched on incorrectly to my already sore nipple I just couldn't do it anymore. I sort of just gave up on taking care of Oliver or anything else for the night. I just needed a break.
Jared was really sweet to me about it all. I went to bed and slept through O's late night feeding. Jared gave him a bottle and I got to rest for a while without having the anxiety of wondering when the baby monitor was going to go off next. I feel more rested today but I don't know how long it will last because Jared will be unavailable all day today. He stayed up all night studying & taking care of Oliver, now he is taking a test, then he will come home to take a nap, and then he will go back onto campus to take another test.
But ANYWAY. I'm tired of thinking about that so here is a list of things that have helped me a lot in taking care of Oliver. For the pregnant folk who read this blog, you may want to take note:
1. SwaddleMe blanket wraps. Oliver sleeps ten times longer if he's wrapped up in a swaddle, but he can break out of every brand except the SwaddleMe brand. Next time I go to Babies R Us I'm going to pick up another one because he keeps pooping on them.
2. Lansinoh lanolin. Ever since left boob's trauma, the Lansinoh has really helped to make it feel better. It smells and looks nasty but it works.
3. Itzbeen timer. This might sound useless, but Itzbeen is basically a bunch of timers that count how long it has been since the last time you changed a diaper, fed him, etc. I honestly can't remember the last tiem I did anything so its good to know the last time he ate so I can decide if he is fussing to eat or fussing because he's just unhappy. It also has a little switch on it to remind you which side you should nurse on next. Incredibly useful.
4. MyBrestFriend nursing pillow. This pillow is way better than the Boppy pillow. The Boppy is too rounded and the baby either rolls off the pillow or rolls too far forward towards me. The BrestFriend is flat and firm so O can just lie all comfy on his side with perfect access to my boobs. PLUS! The bonus to this pillow is that it straps on around my back so that I can stand up and move around without really disturbing his nursing session too much. I just wish that the BrestFriend was easier to find, because I want another cover to fix all of the leaking and laundry problems I have with it.
5. Warmy pack. Having the warm pack has been great. I've used it on my back. I've used it to cuddle up to for a nice sleep. The best use for it is on my boobs. If I put heat on my boobs, I'm able to pump a significantly larger quantity in a shorter amount of time. Plus it feels good.
6. Dr. Brown's bottles. O has become a bottle snob and he likes the Dr. Brown's ones the best. He'll take the Avent bottles also but 1. he seems to swallow more air with them because he burps a bunch after using them and 2. I have a hard time using them without having them leak. I already ahve breast milk leaking out of my boobs, I don't need it leaking out of the bottle too.
Hmm.. I wonder when I'll get the chance to end a blog on my own times. Oliver is awake and hungry again. So, I guess I'll post again later. Wish us luck on making it through this week.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
My life running the Breastraunt.
Okay. Its been a long time again since I've posted, but I promised a breastfeeding post so here it is! But before I give you the inside scoop, here are the menial details of Oliver's and my life since the last time you heard from me.
1. His stump fell off, so he got his first bath! I'll get those pictures onto the computer to be sent out to y'all... umm... sometime. Did he like it? No. He hated it and he peed. A lot.
2. He now weighs 10 pounds 8 ounces. Thats a lot. He was only supposed to have regained his birthweight by now. What a solid boy.
3. I got his photos taken professionally on Sunday. A few of the pictures have been posted ont he photographer's website, but the rest will be finished in a few days. If you request the password from me, you can look at them all and put in orders if you'd like some prints.
4. I went somewhere without Oliver for the first time since he was born. It was so weird to be away from him, and even though it was just for a couple of hours I missed him.
NOW! Breastfeeding.
Where does one start in on the discussion of breastfeeding? I don't know. I'm pretty lucky because I haven't had any real problems with it. My nipples haven't cracked, bled, blistered... Nothing like that. When I've spoken with the other new mommies about breastfeeding, they give me evil glares. They are jealous of how awesome my nipples are. :)
My challenges with breastfeeding? I leak. A lot. At night, when Oliver wakes up for his feeding, I am lying in a puddle of my own cold breast milk nine times out of ten. My bedroom smells like rancid breast milk, which smells EXACTLY like puppy breath. (Probably because puppies only drink dog breast milk and their teeth never get brushed. So... if you want to imagine my bedroom's smell, think puppy breath.)
I got a waterproof mattress cover to save my mattress, but I can't think of any way to save my sheets. I sleep on towels and I wear breast pads but alas there is no damming my breastmilk river. I've had to put more blankets on the bed because being soaked with cold breastmilk makes me freeze. All of my milky bedsheets add to the mountains of laundry I've got, so I'm trying to figure out some sort of algorithm as to when I should change my sheets. How long should I suffer with the milk stink before I strip off the sheets and wash them again?
Something else that is sort of a problem is that, well, I spray. I don't know how many times I've squirted breastmilk all over Oliver's face. I wasn't really aware that one could spray breast milk, but IT HAPPENS. The first time I sort of freaked out. Now I am kind of amused by it. As embarressing as it is to admit, I have actually sat down and milke myself to see how far I could squirt. (The answer? At least 4 feet. NO LIES.) Nobody told me that you can milk yourself in such a way that it sprays out in all directions. I think that is something I would have liked to know going into this so, hey, now you know.
Other things I'd like to have known about breastfeeding:
A.) Your boobs get hot. Not sexy hot, either. Like.. flaming hot. Mojave desert hot. I don't know why that is but its a bit unnerving if you don't expect it. It does, thankfully, go away.
B.) It is a time sucker. You couldn't even imagine the time you'll spend grabbing your boobs, massaging your boobs, cleaning the various boob pump accessories, trying to snap the various closures on the oh-so-sexy nursing bras. Your life becomes centered around your boobs, because your baby is OBSESSED with them. Seriously.
C.) People will ask you nonstop if you are breastfeeding. I think if I had said no to some people I might have been knifed. People are REALLY all up in your business about how you feed your baby.
I would've liked to write more, but Oliver woke up and its time to open up shop at The Breastraunt again. I'll leave you with this:
I have gotten so used to baby poop that when I got some on my arm last night, I just sort of studied it. It was shaped exactly like the state of Alaska, and that intrigued me.
(I did eventually wash it off. No worries.)
1. His stump fell off, so he got his first bath! I'll get those pictures onto the computer to be sent out to y'all... umm... sometime. Did he like it? No. He hated it and he peed. A lot.
2. He now weighs 10 pounds 8 ounces. Thats a lot. He was only supposed to have regained his birthweight by now. What a solid boy.
3. I got his photos taken professionally on Sunday. A few of the pictures have been posted ont he photographer's website, but the rest will be finished in a few days. If you request the password from me, you can look at them all and put in orders if you'd like some prints.
4. I went somewhere without Oliver for the first time since he was born. It was so weird to be away from him, and even though it was just for a couple of hours I missed him.
NOW! Breastfeeding.
Where does one start in on the discussion of breastfeeding? I don't know. I'm pretty lucky because I haven't had any real problems with it. My nipples haven't cracked, bled, blistered... Nothing like that. When I've spoken with the other new mommies about breastfeeding, they give me evil glares. They are jealous of how awesome my nipples are. :)
My challenges with breastfeeding? I leak. A lot. At night, when Oliver wakes up for his feeding, I am lying in a puddle of my own cold breast milk nine times out of ten. My bedroom smells like rancid breast milk, which smells EXACTLY like puppy breath. (Probably because puppies only drink dog breast milk and their teeth never get brushed. So... if you want to imagine my bedroom's smell, think puppy breath.)
I got a waterproof mattress cover to save my mattress, but I can't think of any way to save my sheets. I sleep on towels and I wear breast pads but alas there is no damming my breastmilk river. I've had to put more blankets on the bed because being soaked with cold breastmilk makes me freeze. All of my milky bedsheets add to the mountains of laundry I've got, so I'm trying to figure out some sort of algorithm as to when I should change my sheets. How long should I suffer with the milk stink before I strip off the sheets and wash them again?
Something else that is sort of a problem is that, well, I spray. I don't know how many times I've squirted breastmilk all over Oliver's face. I wasn't really aware that one could spray breast milk, but IT HAPPENS. The first time I sort of freaked out. Now I am kind of amused by it. As embarressing as it is to admit, I have actually sat down and milke myself to see how far I could squirt. (The answer? At least 4 feet. NO LIES.) Nobody told me that you can milk yourself in such a way that it sprays out in all directions. I think that is something I would have liked to know going into this so, hey, now you know.
Other things I'd like to have known about breastfeeding:
A.) Your boobs get hot. Not sexy hot, either. Like.. flaming hot. Mojave desert hot. I don't know why that is but its a bit unnerving if you don't expect it. It does, thankfully, go away.
B.) It is a time sucker. You couldn't even imagine the time you'll spend grabbing your boobs, massaging your boobs, cleaning the various boob pump accessories, trying to snap the various closures on the oh-so-sexy nursing bras. Your life becomes centered around your boobs, because your baby is OBSESSED with them. Seriously.
C.) People will ask you nonstop if you are breastfeeding. I think if I had said no to some people I might have been knifed. People are REALLY all up in your business about how you feed your baby.
I would've liked to write more, but Oliver woke up and its time to open up shop at The Breastraunt again. I'll leave you with this:
I have gotten so used to baby poop that when I got some on my arm last night, I just sort of studied it. It was shaped exactly like the state of Alaska, and that intrigued me.
(I did eventually wash it off. No worries.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)