Well.. I'm tired. Jared is tired. Our babysitting recruits are all sick so we're kind of stuck toughing it out on our own.
I'm getting tired of the house being all messy and I just wish all of this laundry could get done. We got a notice in the mail last weekend saying that I was denied MA. Thats just great. Why was I denied? Because I'm not a legal citizen and I have other health insurance? Both of those things are incorrect. I ahve to file an appeal now, but I don't really understand how, so I have to go in to the social workers at the Student Parent Help Center. They'll help me get it all figured out, but in the mean time its just one more thing I have to do.
Apparently the hospital found out that I was denied before I did because I've started getting bunches of bills asking me to pay the full amount. Besides those bills, I've got our usual bills & utilities to pay. It sucks to just have a pile of bills sitting on the counter waiting to be paid, its very stressful.
Stress has been the name of the game this weekend, too. Jared has three midterms this week so he was literally studying all weekend long. That meant that I couldn't unload the baby onto him too often, and that we didn't get any time to just relax and watch a movie together or anything.
Yesterday evening was horrible. I drove to the store (again!) and I was so tired that I just kept driving and driving until I realized that I wasn't heading in the right direction anymore. Then when I got to the store it was PACKED with people and I forgot what I was there for and I really wanted to start crying in the baby section. I managed to get it all together to finish my shopping and things were going better, but then a bunch of other little things went wrong. The toilet got clogged again, I ran out of dishsoap and couldn't find the new bottle I got, Oliver decided he was only happy if somebody was holding him.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when I had to nurse on lefty and Oliver got latched on wrong. My left side was already sore from an earlier time when I made a loud noise while he was nursing and he jerked his head (with my nipple in his mouth) when he startled. Then he had his mouth clamped onto just my nipple and it hurt so much that I wasn't thinking right and I just tried to pull my boob away without breaking suction first. For those that have never breastfed before, that really hurts. A lot. It made me cry. So then last night when he got latched on incorrectly to my already sore nipple I just couldn't do it anymore. I sort of just gave up on taking care of Oliver or anything else for the night. I just needed a break.
Jared was really sweet to me about it all. I went to bed and slept through O's late night feeding. Jared gave him a bottle and I got to rest for a while without having the anxiety of wondering when the baby monitor was going to go off next. I feel more rested today but I don't know how long it will last because Jared will be unavailable all day today. He stayed up all night studying & taking care of Oliver, now he is taking a test, then he will come home to take a nap, and then he will go back onto campus to take another test.
But ANYWAY. I'm tired of thinking about that so here is a list of things that have helped me a lot in taking care of Oliver. For the pregnant folk who read this blog, you may want to take note:
1. SwaddleMe blanket wraps. Oliver sleeps ten times longer if he's wrapped up in a swaddle, but he can break out of every brand except the SwaddleMe brand. Next time I go to Babies R Us I'm going to pick up another one because he keeps pooping on them.
2. Lansinoh lanolin. Ever since left boob's trauma, the Lansinoh has really helped to make it feel better. It smells and looks nasty but it works.
3. Itzbeen timer. This might sound useless, but Itzbeen is basically a bunch of timers that count how long it has been since the last time you changed a diaper, fed him, etc. I honestly can't remember the last tiem I did anything so its good to know the last time he ate so I can decide if he is fussing to eat or fussing because he's just unhappy. It also has a little switch on it to remind you which side you should nurse on next. Incredibly useful.
4. MyBrestFriend nursing pillow. This pillow is way better than the Boppy pillow. The Boppy is too rounded and the baby either rolls off the pillow or rolls too far forward towards me. The BrestFriend is flat and firm so O can just lie all comfy on his side with perfect access to my boobs. PLUS! The bonus to this pillow is that it straps on around my back so that I can stand up and move around without really disturbing his nursing session too much. I just wish that the BrestFriend was easier to find, because I want another cover to fix all of the leaking and laundry problems I have with it.
5. Warmy pack. Having the warm pack has been great. I've used it on my back. I've used it to cuddle up to for a nice sleep. The best use for it is on my boobs. If I put heat on my boobs, I'm able to pump a significantly larger quantity in a shorter amount of time. Plus it feels good.
6. Dr. Brown's bottles. O has become a bottle snob and he likes the Dr. Brown's ones the best. He'll take the Avent bottles also but 1. he seems to swallow more air with them because he burps a bunch after using them and 2. I have a hard time using them without having them leak. I already ahve breast milk leaking out of my boobs, I don't need it leaking out of the bottle too.
Hmm.. I wonder when I'll get the chance to end a blog on my own times. Oliver is awake and hungry again. So, I guess I'll post again later. Wish us luck on making it through this week.