People say stupid things to me. Here are things people have said to me that made me laugh. Some will be left anonymous so as not to embarrass the people I actually know.
1. Check out lady at Target, while I was still pregnant. (To Jared in high pitch voice) "Aren't you excited? You're going to have a little brother!"
2. Creepy bum outside 24 hour CVS. "You must have money, you have a baby. Spare some change for my bus fare?"
3. "Where did your belly go?" - Stupid blonde girl I used to have classes with whose name I can't recall, said while I was holding Oliver, then 2 weeks old.
4. "Its almost like he is a tiny human being." - Woman waiting at pharmacy.
5. "Nursing hurts your nips like a bitch, doesn't it!?" - Large black woman with a grill, while I was nursing O in public.
6. "I read your blog." -Alain, at Oliver's first party.
7. "Will that just fall off later, or what?" - Friend commenting on the uncircumsized nature of my son's penis.
8. "You know that means he'll be a porn star later, right?" -Separate friend commenting on uncircumsized son's penis.
9. "Its amazing nipples can do that and not break." - Relative, while I was pumping breastmilk.
10. "Isn't it great to know that there is life in your breasts?" - Target check out lady, after asking if I was breastfeeding. I don't exactly understand what she meant by that.
11. "I call that one Sally" - Jared, after I asked him which breast's turn it was.
12. "He looks like Grover Cleveland without the mustache." - Kind Old Man.