Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Busy weekend.

What a busy weekend. Jared graduated. I took Oliver in for a second opinion and found he has seasonal allergies. We put him on Zyrtec and BAM! He is sleeping again like a champ. Simple solution for a really hard problem. I'm glad it's over with finally.

We had Jared's parents here with us over the weekend so we mostly were hanging out with them. It was nice to have people around to play with Oliver.

I had apprehension about going to the graduation ceremony with Oliver, but it turned out very well. He slept in my arms through the welcoming and key note speakers. It felt really good to stand there and hold him as we watched Jared come in. It was a huge relief, such a huge achievement for us all... Finally, Jared is done. He can be home now with Oliver more often. We can do more together than eat a quick piece of toast in the morning and a shoddy dinner before bed.  Weekends will be like summer for us - we can get up together, we can run to Target together, we can spend all day doing nothing in particular together.

This might sound selfish, but when Pomp & Circumstance played I felt proud not only for Jared but also for myself. I helped him get there. I gave him clean clothes and decent food to eat. I dropped him off at school in cold weather, at odd hours, in the 15 minute rushes before papers were due. I spent hours and hours and hours alone taking care of Oliver. It was hard for me too, and I am happy that we made it. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

But most of all, it was one more achievement to keep us away from being "statistics." So many articles about children of young parents make it seem like we're all terrible and incompetent. I was harshly judged for being pregnant and having a small child at the age of 20. And to me, graduating seemed like one more thing we could do to prove "them" wrong. That I'm not "too young" to parent.

Our child is developmentally on track. He's not ignored in some daycare room. He's not living in filth. We read to him. We feed him healthy (and unhealthy!) foods. We take the time to teach him things, to play with him, to talk to him. And it is working! He is sociable, intelligent, independent... all of the great things we could want for him. He exceeds our greatest expectations.

If anything, our age has permitted us to be more flexible with him. We can admit (without shame!) that we don't really know what we're doing, and we can ask for help. We're not so far removed from his age and his "generation" that we can't relate to him. We haven't forgotten how to play.

So sure, we don't have the money of older couples and we don't have the favor of society, but we're getting there. One day we'll be real adults.

Congratulations, Daddy! We love you.

1 comment:

  1. You guys are such a beautiful family - I hope those self-righteous bastards who have tried to be critical of you get their karmic comeuppance, because you definitely do not deserve any of the flak they try to give you. You guys are doing things the right way, and I really respect that. :D

    (And I hope to actually meet you someday!)