Reading

A lot of people asked about our wedding reading, so I wanted to post it here. It was an excerpt from a children's book titled "I Like You" by Sandol Stoddard Warburg. Here is the text in its entirety.


I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special,
you know it’s special.
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, Remember when you told me something special
And both of us remember.

When I think something is important
you think it’s important too.
We have good ideas.
When I say something funny,
you laugh. I think I’m funny
and you think I’m funny too. Hah-hah!

I like you because you know where I’m ticklish.
And you don’t tickle me there,
except just a little tiny bit sometimes.
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too.
You know how to be silly
That’s why I like you.
Boy are you ever silly.
I never met anybody sillier than me
till I met you. 

I like you because
you know when it’s time to stop being silly.
Maybe day after tomorrow.
Maybe never.
Too late, it’s a quarter past silly.
Sometimes we don’t say a word.
We snurkle under fences.
We spy secret places.
If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off,
You are one too.
If I pretend I am drowning,
you pretend you are saving me.
If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
then you are getting ready to jump.
HOORAY!
That’s because you really like me.
You really like me, don’t you?
And I really like you back.
And you like me back and I like you back.
And that’s the way we keep on going every day.
If you go away, then I go away too;
or if I stay home, you send me a postcard.
You don’t just say,
Well see you around sometime, bye!
I like you a lot because of that.
If I go away, I send you a postcard too.
And I like you because
if we go away together,
And if we are in Grand Central Station,
And if I get lost
Then you are the one that is yelling for me.
And I like you because
when I am feeling sad
You don’t always cheer me up right away.
Sometimes it is better to be sad.
You can’t stand the others
being so googly and gaggly every single minute.
You want to think about things.
It takes time.
I like you because if I am mad at you,
Then you are mad at me too.
It’s awful when the other person isn’t.
They are so nice and hoo-hoo
you could just about punch them in the nose.
I like you because if I think I
am going to throw up,
then you are really sorry.
You don’t just pretend you are busy
looking at the birdies and all that.
You say, maybe it was something you ate.
You say, the same thing happened to me one time.
And the same thing did.
If you find two four-leaf clovers,you give me one.
If I find four, I give you two.
If we only find three, we keep on looking.
Sometimes we have good luck,
and sometimes we don’t. If I break my arm,
and if you break your arm too,
Then it’s fun to have a broken arm.
I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours.
We are both sorry.
We write our names and draw pictures.
We show everybody
and they wish they had a broken arm too.
I like you because
I don’t know why
but Everything that happens is nicer with you.
I can’t remember when I didn’t like you.
It must have been lonesome then.
I like you because because because
I forget why I like you, but I do.
So many reasons.
On the 4th of July
I like you because it’s the 4th of July. On the fifth of July,
I like you too. If you and I had some drums
and some horns and some horses,
If we had some hats and some flags
and some fire engines,
We could be a HOLIDAY.
We could be a CELEBRATION.
We could be a WHOLE PARADE.
See what I mean?
Even if it was the 999th of July,
Even if it was August,
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November,
Even if it was no place particular in January,
I would go on choosing you.
And you would go on choosing me.
Over and over again.
That’s how it would happen every time.
I don’t know why.
I guess I don’t know why I really like you.
Why do I like you.
I guess I just like you.
I guess I just like you.
because I like you.
I like you and I know why.

Weddinged.

Yesterday we were married. It was amazing. I didn't really think it would be any different for me than any other special occasion, but it was. I worked hard and I was so nervous because all of the choices were mine (ours) and everyone knew it. I personally made most of the decor, we chose the venue, the food, the music, the vows, the readings.... all of our very personal choices were going to be laid out in front of everyone, and I didn't want them to cheapen it or make fun of it. I was scared people would ruin things that were special to me by laughing at me.

But you know what? Nobody did. As is usually the case, I worried for nothing.

Sure, things went wrong, but our wedding was perfect. It really was beautiful. I heard all day yesterday how much everyone appreciated all the work I put into it, how beautiful I looked, how handsome our family is, how lucky we are to be together.

And I believed them! It's so easy to brush off compliments as people just being "nice" but yesterday I felt people were so sincere. Our families were all together and everyone got along. Everyone had a good time. Nobody noticed the mistakes. It was perfect, it really truly was.

Last night as we were walking out of the elevator, my mother in law stole the hotel sign which read, "Congratulations, Jared & Andi!" She told me to put it in my scrapbook, but that's not really my thing.

This morning as I lay in my huge, gigantic hotel bed next to still-sleeping Jared, I thought about that moment. Should I be putting together a scrap book? Most people do. Is that what I should do?

I decided no, I don't have to. I decided that I'll probably forget all the details - who sat with whom, what our decorations looked like, what kind of food we ate, what everyone wore. But there is just no way I can forget how happy I felt when we left our party for the first time as husband and wife. And that's what matters, right?

I'll remember walking down the aisle, scared to have all eyes on me, bawling like a baby. I'll remember making Jared start to cry too, and laughing because I felt better not being alone in my tears. I'll think about looking out and seeing everyone there being happy for us and celebrating us - not anything we did, not turning another year older, but actually celebrating us for who are together.

I'll also remember the way everyone around us came together and helped. The way my sisters gave me a pep talk when I thought I would throw up, telling me to eat something, drink some water, everything will be great. The way our families , and really, the whole group of guests watched out for Oliver, hung decor, ran errands, handed out tissues for my tears, showed up to support us.

I'll remember Oliver. How he walked over to Jared to be held during our ceremony. How he danced for everyone's delight. How he sat for hours playing in the fountain, destroying his suit but having a great time. How people complimented us on him, how he's turning into such a good person, and he is.

But most of all, more than anything else, I won't forget how happy I was. How amazing it was to sign the license with my brand new name for the first time. How easy it was to smile at everyone. How I felt so easy with who I was at that point in time. That truly was perfect.

When Jared and I left the party we sat on the giant hotel bed together and ate our fancy room service desserts.

"We're married now."
"Yes."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I'm happy."
"Me too."

The Final Countdown

So, I'm getting married in like 6 hours. I think I'm starting to get nervous.

I'm pretty sure I've forgot some things, but that's okay. That's how we roll.

Let's rock this shit.

-Andi, for the last time as a single woman.

Fishy still lives.

Fishy is still alive. He must be a fighter, one of those rare carnival fish that clings to dear life for ten years. Oliver taps on his glass and slams things down on the counter and it hasn't had a heart attack yet. Every morning I wake up and check that he's not floating belly up, but so far so good.

He won a fish.

Wedding stuff has had me so crazy that I don't even recognize myself.  My dress is probably ruined. The cake order was screwed up. There is family drama. Last minute vendor scrambles. Money issues. I am having a hell of a time planning for just ONE day. That's all it is. One day. You'd think I could handle that, right? Right. I can handle that. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll handle that.

But for today I'm going to ignore that and eat pizza. I assembled some IKEA furniture and played cars with Oliver instead of doing table numbers. Or guest lists. Or seating charts. Or anything, for that matter.

Last weekend was my father's coin sale so we were helping out there. Sorting coins out isn't really a thrilling activity, but it was probably just what I needed. It took enough mental alertness that my mind couldn't wander to wedding stuff, but it was easy enough that I didn't feel stressed. When we closed up our booth, we went out and enjoyed the church carnival food and games. Oliver cheated a little bit, but he won a goldfish. (He named it Fishy.) I ate nachos and raced Jared through an inflatable obstacle course. It was nice.

Today we stayed in the air conditioning and played cars on his new (rummage saled) road map rug. I had a really hard time getting out of bed this morning because from the moment I woke up I was thinking...

Too much to do.
What will happen with my dress?
I need to do laundry.
I need to do dishes.
Do we have the money to pay Doobie's ER bill?
Have to refill Doobie's prescription.
My head hurts.
There are no groceries in the house.

And on and on. I couldn't stop thinking about stuff so that, instead of sleeping in, I was just lying in bed thinking of everything that wasn't right and that needed fixing.  In my rational brain, I know nothing is wrong. I know that even if the whole wedding is a catastrophe, it will be a success as long as we're married at the end of the day. I know that in the end nobody is going to remember the table numbers or the cake flavors or anything like that. I know all of that and yet I can't convince myself to behave like I know that.

I'm freaking out and I'm falling behind. My diet has been terrible and I've probably gained back some weight I worked so hard to lose. The laundry is so piled up that I'd bet we have at least 7 loads.  We need to grocery shop but I'm loathe to spend money, even though I know groceries are a necessity.

I'm trying to let these things go and just do what needs doing, but I can't.

For instance, I knew this morning that I should just get up and start working but I couldn't make myself get out of bed. I was stuck there, adding item after item onto my mental to do list. The more I added, the more inclined I was to bury myself under the covers.  Getting started is so hard.

But tomorrow, at least I have a plan. I'm going to my silly old lady aqua aerobics class. I'll talk with Martha about her bunions and hear Eunice's arthritis-based weather predictions. I'm going to sit in the hot tub for ten minutes before showering. I'm going to drive home with my happy iPod mix playing. Then, I'm going to watch Oliver during Jared's phone interview. I'm going to go to the seamstress' shop and see if I can't salvage anything from my wedding dress. I'm going to come home and do laundry and clean the house back up to a reasonable standard of living.

Tomorrow I will get back on track. But tonight I am going to feed the fish and go to bed early.