Saturday, January 23, 2010

We get things done around here. Sort of.

Since the getting-back-from-Florida sleep nightmare we've settled into a little more OK sleep routine around here. Oliver goes to bed at 11, gets up at like anywhere from 8-9, eats a little breakfast, and goes back to sleep for another 2-3 hours.

Today Oliver went down after his morning feedings with no problems, until I got back into bed and heard him grunting over the monitor.

My first reaction to whenever I hear him making noises over the monitor?

Crap. I have to get out of bed again.

But then his grunts never turned into cries, and I heard a few farts come out so I thought.. Well, good. He had gas. He's better now. He'll sleep.

And sleep he did, for about an hour. I thought.. Well. I guess he wasn't tired. But NOPE! Wrong-O. He actually just didn't want to sit in his own feces any longer. The noises I heard over the monitor were poop noises. Rookie mistake on my part.

I scooped him up and immediately felt cold poop on my arm and side. I looked down, and SURPRISE! Giant puddle of congealed baby poop. All over in his swaddle wrap. All over his body. It was a doozie.

So then I called Jared in for reinforcements and we sat there, rubbing our eyes awake, staring at this poop mess for a few seconds. (My exact thoughts: Oh Shit.) (Ha! Get that!?>! Get it!? I kill myself sometimes.)

Then I tried to think, well.. how do I get this shirt off over his head without smearing poop all across his face? I probably would have just stood there forever had Jared not jumped in and said, "I'm getting the scissors."

My first thought? I should protest. He's cutting a perfectly good shirt. I mean, sure... It is ugly. It doesn't fit him. But still. Somebody else could use that shirt.

My second thought? Well... I am tired. I can't think. Let him do it.

So Jared cut the shirt off his body and we threw it in the trash. We were desperate. We were sleepy. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It got the job done. The bath, the diaper change - all that jazz was a piece of cake after we got the initial poop off of him.

But now let me think... Are there any other non poop related things going on in my life? Not really. Most events in my life fall into a bodily functions category these days.

Lets see here. We ate two whole bags of salad mix. I made cheesecake brownies for the neighbors' party but we ended up eating them ourselves and not going over because we got too tired. Yesterday, I managed to immaculately clean the bathroom so that I could have an enjoyable bath time experience in which I daydream that the remainder of the apartment is equally clean.

Oh yeah! I want to make a bucket list. 100 items. Lofty goal, huh? I know.

My friend Jessica is coming over for Superbowl Partytime Fun & Awesome and we're going to create a list of stuff we want to do before we die. My first item? Try more than 150 different kinds of fruit. I saw a fruit stand in Palm Harbor and I wanted to stop at. I'll have to go next time. Florida could maybe redeem itself in my eyes with some awesome exotic fruits. Maybe.

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