No time like snowtime

Its been snowing a lot. Its good stuff. Doobs likes to look out the window and be blinded by all the white. He LOVES to sit inside the car while I brush the snow off, revealing pieces of the sky to him with every swipe of snow that comes off the back window. He even laughs sometimes when he gets hit in the face with the cold as we step outside. He is a Minnesota baby.

And his snow hat.. It is so adorable. Makes me wish it was winter all year long, just so he could wear that cute hat. He looks so cozy in his carseat, and he's usually pretty happy in there. We give him a lap blanket, put on his cute little rugby hat and zip up the carseat cover. On really cold days, we top it off with a most ridiculous flair - baby mittens!

I hate baby mittens. I really do. Oliver doesn't much like them either. I call them his flippers because he just sort of bats at his face pathetically without his thumbs and fingers to suck on. I don't even know how much they really help anyway because they're always soaked with drool by the time we take them off.

I've been working on Florida prep this week. Its a lot of work to get everything set up before we leave. I needed to stop the mail, clean the house, get Oliver's vitamin D etc. Not to mention packing. It is a nightmare. I never thought I was bad at packing until I needed to pack another person's junk as well as my own. And Jared? Well, I don't even want to think about what he is going to pack. He has a throw-things-in-suitcase-with-45-seconds-to-spare approach. He leaves a lot of things behind that he needs, and brings along a lot of junk we don't. I am just going to squirrel myself away in another room while he packs so I don't witness that carnage. I've got enough of my own packing to worry about.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I was trying to mentally pack my suitcase. I am constantly torn between taking and leaving certain luxury items. For instance... I love MyBrestFriend pillow. It makes feeding him much more relaxing and lighter on my back. But do I bring it with us, knowing that it takes up half of a suitcase? I just can't justify the packing space it'd require, so I'm going to just suck it up and use pillows to nurse O for a few weeks.

My plans for Florida? Do nothing most of the time. Glitter some cards. Go for walks outside with the Doob. Play videogames with Jared.

Things I am going to take a vacation from:
1. Watching infomercials.
2. Infernal crib mobile.
3. Making spaghetti.
4. Deathtrap bathtub.

Finally I'll get a break from all of Jared's study madness. I know he's working hard and all but it kinda drives me nuts. Kinda. Kinda a lot.

Jared likes to study on the floor in the middle of the living room. I don't know why. Everytime I walk out into the living room after a study session, it looks like The Learning Tree has shed its leaves. Lined paper is everywhere, crumpled and scribbled with obscure mathematical equations. The fruits of The Learning Tree must surely be grape soda cans, because those seem to be scattered everywhere too. There have been times when I have been tempted to rake my living room. I'm not exagerrating.

But the worst part of Learning Tree messes? You can't clean them. Because DID YOU THROW AWAY THAT SHEET OF LOOSELEAF FROM LAST SEMESTER WITH ONE SINGLE NUMBER SCRIBBLED ONTO A CORNER OF IT!?

Well, you just caused Jared to get that problem wrong and he is now probably doomed to FLUNK EVERY COURSE HE IS AND EVER WILL TAKE! You had better save that piece of paper for the next century, in case somebody swipes the University's grade records and he has to prove all of the grades he earned back in 1996.

And its not just school papers. Dear Diary, I fear Jared is a hoarder. I think he'd turn into a hoarder of TLC reality show proportions if I'd let him. I feel kind of guilty about it, because I am magical cleaning elves are constantly purging small pieces of Jared's junk collection while he's not looking. Socks have holes in them? QUICK! Throw them away before Jared gets home. This box that the router came in... Well, it somehow ended up in the garbage. Those crazy elves! Don't they know someday we might desperately need the lid to the rubbermaid storage box we no longer have? Tomfoolery.

P.S. Jared, if you read this, it is the elves, not me.. I swear! Also, kittywampus really is a word and I didn't make it up.

Sitting up is the new black.

I've been having a pretty good time since my last posting. It has snowed and that always makes me feel better, even though snow has been mysteriously tracked all over the apartment.

Oliver likes the snow because it makes it insanely bright outside. He likes looking out the windows. I sit on the sofa with him over my shoulder, looking out the window while I watch TV. BUT! Even the brightest window doesn't compare to sitting up ALL BY YOURSELF.

I don't know if he lives to fall over or if he just likes that I have to be paying superbly close attention to him, but sitting up alone is in this season. Now when he is lying down he tries to sit up by himself, but he just isn't quite strong or coordinated enough to so he grabs your hands and helps you pull him into sitting. And then he will want to stay there. Forever. (Or at least until he poops or wants to eat. Whichever comes first. Its always a close race.)

We've had a busy weekend. We went to the mall and were nearly trampled. We had to return a few things and also pick up a couple of items. We were trying to make it a quick stop but between parking and dodging crowds, it took a while. After we made our escape we realized that Doobie was probably starving so we stopped at a restaurant on the way home so I could feed him.

It was a learning experience. I wasn't wearing a nursing bra. Jared had scooped up all the laundry and with it all of my nursing bras, so I said... well. I'll just wear a regular bra. Let me just say that there is a reason I haven't worn a regular bra since I was pregnant. It just doesn't work on so many levels.

1. It is poor fitting.
2. It is uncomfortable.
3. Reaching up and trying to manipulate your boob our of your bra in a restaurant really makes you look like some sort of pervert.
4. Once you finally do get your boob out, don't even try to get it back in. It just won't work. You will have to leave the restaurant with cockeyed boobs.

It was an interesting experience, but I made it work. I was the perfect image of motherhood: eating onion strings in a BBQ joint, dropping crumbs onto my nursing baby, all the while ignoring the hicks behind me laughing about the 2 inches of boob they can see.

Couldn't I have gone to the bathroom and nursed in there? Yes, but that is gross and I wouldn't have wanted to eat in the bathroom so I wasn't going to make Oliver do it either. Public nursing doesn't bother me in a self-conscious sort of way. Inconvenient, yes, but do I have personal hang ups about it? No. The people who sneak a peek at my stomach flab are probably more uncomfortable than I am. :)

But now I must go work on more Christmas cards. The first wave has gone out so a lucky percentage of you already have wonderful homemade Christmas cheer in your sweaty little hands. Those of you that don't? Cross your fingers that Oliver is feeling like arts and crafts today.

Minnesota

Home.

I'm up tonight because Jared wanted to talk about where he wants to go to law school and it made me feel sad. I want to be excited for him, really I do, but thinking about leaving Minnesota is hard for me to swallow. I don't know what to say to him so that I don't discourage him. I know we can't stay here. The last thing I want is for himt o feel like we have to stay here.

And I know I can make a home anywhere we go. I will do it. I know that I can and I will. But its just that I know I'll miss here when I'm gone. This is home to me. More home to me even than Wisconsin where I spent most of my life. When I was growing up my mom and dad would always drive me here on weekends to visit my sisters. I always imagined this as the best place ever. The Twin Cities were my fantasy fairytale land. I knew I would grow up and live here and be free. LaCrosse was so oppressive and small. I hated school there. I ahted that when flipping through the phone book I'd eaten at almost every restaurant listed. Sure, LaCrosse was pretty to look at but it got old fast. Minneapolis was always the light at the end of the tunnel I deserved for putting up with high school and the small circles fo closed minded people.

As soon as I got my license I was driving here with my friends almost every other weekend. They all thought it was cool that I knew my way around. It felt great to be able to have my own "spot" even if my "spot" was the whole city. I was so proud picking Jared up in the airport for the first time and actually knowing my way around. I was proud to show off the city. I was a damn good ambassador. Coming to school here just made so much sense, and it is one of the best decisions I've ever made.

And living here has been great. I feel safe here. I enjoy city life without all of the scary parts and crime and dirt. Minnesota is so beautiful. The people are friendly. I love the snow. I like walking outside in the winter when it smells so cold and sharp outside. I like how so many people in the neighborhoods ahve fireplaces going and you can smell the wood smoke. I like how quiet it is at nighttime after a big snowfall. I like how the sky is sometimes orange at night. Even though it gets dark and cold I don't feel like this is a lonesome place.

In the summer time the city is gorgeous. It smells like grass and dirt and sunshine. There are trees everywhere. People grow nice lawns. The houses within the city are unique and full of character. The neighborhood streets are lined with trees. There are eclectic cafes and little gift shops all over in the different neighborhoods. Couples walk their dogs and rollerblade around the lakes. People are everywhere but they all seem friendly.

And Jared wants to move someplace completely new. Its scary to go away from everyone I know. If he wanted to move to Florida, I would understand. It would be easier for me to at least be around his family. But he is talking places like California, Chicago, New York. Places where I don't know anyone. It sounds scary and lonely to me. I'm not very good at making new friends. I'm especially nervous about meeting new people now that I have Oliver.

I just don't want to be lonely. I don't want to go away from my family. I don't want them to feel like I've abandoned them. I don't want to go somewhere without good bratwursts and cheesecurds and state fairs. Happy cows don't come from California because they're too busy living here.

Please don't think that I'm complaining. I just want a chance to air my grievances tonight so that tomorrow I can psych myself up for a new adventure and be there to encourage Jared. I know I can do it. I want to do it. I have everything I could ever need and I will be happy no matter where we go. Just because I say so.

RE: Crying. If you'd stop it I wouldn't mind one bit.

Dear Oliver,

Now that you are finally quiet and sleeping, I have realized that ALL DAY LONG you were driving me nuts being an active boy. Why couldn't today have been like yesterday? Yesterday you woke up without crying, and you were smiling in your crib when I came to pick you up. You spent all day long playing happily and I even got to clean and make pot pie for dinner. I can't even think of a time when you cried yesterday.

So what is up with you today? Why did you decide that today is cry day? I changed you. I fed you. I was playing with you. I even was willing to dance with you today. You were not happy in the mechanical mothering machine swing, either. The only thing you wanted was for me to stuff my nipple into your craw.

And well, I have to confess... Sometimes my boobs like their alone time. Please don't take it personally. Recently, it has been cold out and they do not like to be exposed. The tiny scratches from your razor claws cute little fingernails need some time to heal. The same goes for the soreness that has cropped up since you decided to bite me. I would appreciate it if feedings could end somewhere before the pruning and wrinkling from drool stage. Is this too much to ask?

Also, I apologize today for my lapse in judgement when I turned up the heat. I should have known that I would feel cold after being out and shoveling. I would have unthawed eventually, but silly me, I turned up the heat to a reckless 73 degrees. I am sorry for the next 4 hours during which the apartment was a hothouse and you sweated like crazy. It won't happen again.

By the way, I know we are going to Florida for Christmas but I promise we will come back here. Thus, I advise you not get used to the warm weather. You are stronger because of the cold. It builds character.

Love,
Mommy

PS I promise to get you a dog as soon as we will be living somewhere where we can keep one.

Christmas Lists cont'd

Okay... Christmas lists continued. You guys are hounds.

ANDI:
1. a nice knife. Wustof makes AWESOME knives but they are expensive. I would be so happy with just one. A serrated one probably.
2. An address book. I can't keep saving all of the envelopes I get from people so I'll have to start my own book.
3. Dry shampoo. A stylist reccomended dry shampoo to me once. I am intrigued by this idea. It sprays in and brushes out, cleaning your greasy hair when you don't want to shower/can't. She said Klorane and Algemarin are good brands, but I've not seen it anywhere around here.
4. Baby photo album. I've been meaning to get one, but I just haven't.
5. iTunes gift cards. Music! Games! Movies! Oh my.
6. Ankle socks with a nice elastic knit. I get angry when socks lose their elasticity and bunch up in my shoes. Just plain white socks. :) My FAVORITE EVER socks have either a "P" or a "D" on the toe, depending on which direction you look at them. Does anyone know what brand this is and where I can by more?
7. Most of y'all won't want to buy me underwear but I mean... really. I need underwear. The dryer murdered my two favorites and I am still mourning their loss. You could get me a giftcard to VS.
8. Nursing tops. Size L or XL. People are getting tired of looking at my bestretchmarked stomach and/or saggy boobs.
9. So... I am embarrassed to admit that I have always wanted a Chia pet but my mommy wouldn't get me one. I still want it. I saw it in the store and was like CHIA PET! I never got one as a child so I NEED ONE NOW. You may judge me behind my back, if you like.
10. A pony.
11. Wall calendar. I can't keep track of all my crazy life anymore.
12. Gift Certificates to The Wellness Center. Massages... relaxing.

Jared:
1. PS3 game Demon Souls
2. LSAT study books, Powerscore brand.
3. Pens, PilotV5 in multicolours (He takes colour coded notes. Crazy.)
4 . PSN or Xbox Live points to download their virtual games. I think they're like giftcards and you can buy them at Walmart or Target or whatever.
5. I'll make him add more later but he just left for class.

Household:
1. Coasters
2. Brita water filter fridge reservoir. (Blame Jared for breaking ours. We have no water now and it is his fault.)
3. Dr. Brown's dishwasher basket. It fits all the parts of his crazy bottles really well and takes up much less space in the dishwasher. Its inexpensive but I haven't been able to find it in stores. Had to order it online and pay for shipping.
4. iPod dock speakers. Baby likes to flail his arms to music. Jared likes to study to music. I like to clean to music. Everybody wins.
5. Netflix subscription.

Its Christmastime in the city.

I've been doing some Christmas stuff lately and I have to admit I might actually be looking forward to Christmas this year. Usually I'm sort of the grinch. I don't get into Holidays much. I got into school break, but not into Christmas.

But now that Oliver is here I am sort of excited. He gets presents! He will get toys. And even though he is too young to really care that much, he is going to think Christmas is awesome. It makes it easier for me to get excited.

I've been working on Christmas stuff for a while. I've been doing my own cards and it takes time, so I started wayyy back in November. Thanks for the reminder, Martha Stewart.

We have our own baby Christmas tree. It is actually a live potted fir with little bows and ornaments on it, but I call it a Christmas tree. Yesterday we picked out a Christmas tree for my sister's house and put lights on it. Today I am sending out the first of my finished cards, so a lucky few of you can expect cards in the mail. I'm trying to make as many handmade cards as I can, but if I can't make one for you ... well .. my apologies. I can only do so much.

Also.. to whomever purchased the blue footed sleeper with the stegosaurus on it: Thanks. It rocks because: 1. It has elastic in the feet so his feet actually stay in the bottom instead of up in the legs/stomach of the outfit and 2. it has an easy zipper and 3. it is super soft. I tried to find more like it but I couldn't. Closest I came were the Gerber blanket sleepers but they're not as warm and also the feet elastic isn't as great. So! Thanks for the dino sleeper. He likes it. I like it. Its a winner.

They shot my baby.

O got his 2 month shots today. It was entertaining in sort of a sadistic and cruel way. The way he went from calm and happy to suddenly bright red and screaming was comical. I have never heard him scream that way before. Ever. So at least that means we're doing something right to have never made him cry that way. I told him his next shots are in two months - which is 100% of his lifetime thus far so it probably seems like forever until he has to get jabbed again.

He came home and slept for a few hours. Since he was so quiet, I figured he'd forgiven the world for its cruelties, but it turns out he was exacting his revenge. He pooped. SO MUCH. He pooped on my pants. On my shirt. Through my blanket and onto my sheets. On his Boppy pillow. Also on 66.66% of his sleepers.

How did he do this? Well, the one he was wearing was pooped through. Then I went to put his new one and and didn't realize he had poop all up his back and it got his new sleeper poopy too. So I guess we need more than 3 sleepers.

He also had fun getting his hand stuck inside of a rattle. At least, I thought it was stuck. It was around his wrist for hours until I realized I could get it off if I just turned it the right way. It was like one of those mind bender puzzles where it looks impossible to separate the two nails, but really the solution is quite simple once you see it.

So I greased my baby up for nothing. Oops.