Wednesday, December 9, 2009

RE: Crying. If you'd stop it I wouldn't mind one bit.

Dear Oliver,

Now that you are finally quiet and sleeping, I have realized that ALL DAY LONG you were driving me nuts being an active boy. Why couldn't today have been like yesterday? Yesterday you woke up without crying, and you were smiling in your crib when I came to pick you up. You spent all day long playing happily and I even got to clean and make pot pie for dinner. I can't even think of a time when you cried yesterday.

So what is up with you today? Why did you decide that today is cry day? I changed you. I fed you. I was playing with you. I even was willing to dance with you today. You were not happy in the mechanical mothering machine swing, either. The only thing you wanted was for me to stuff my nipple into your craw.

And well, I have to confess... Sometimes my boobs like their alone time. Please don't take it personally. Recently, it has been cold out and they do not like to be exposed. The tiny scratches from your razor claws cute little fingernails need some time to heal. The same goes for the soreness that has cropped up since you decided to bite me. I would appreciate it if feedings could end somewhere before the pruning and wrinkling from drool stage. Is this too much to ask?

Also, I apologize today for my lapse in judgement when I turned up the heat. I should have known that I would feel cold after being out and shoveling. I would have unthawed eventually, but silly me, I turned up the heat to a reckless 73 degrees. I am sorry for the next 4 hours during which the apartment was a hothouse and you sweated like crazy. It won't happen again.

By the way, I know we are going to Florida for Christmas but I promise we will come back here. Thus, I advise you not get used to the warm weather. You are stronger because of the cold. It builds character.


PS I promise to get you a dog as soon as we will be living somewhere where we can keep one.

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