I will not be offended.

Here is a list of gifts that people could give me that I would actually be really excited for and not offended by in any way.

1. Deep cleaning service for my home.
2. Coupons for free babysitting
3. Gift cards to thrift stores.
4. Membership to a weight loss club.
5. Voucher for "Home Improvements for Dummies" class at Home Depot.
6. A vacuum cleaner.
7. A "pad" care package containing the following: Giant maxi pads, a waterproof mattress pad, acne face pads, Tucks pads, and nursing pads.
8. Gallon sized jugs of "Nature's Miracle"
9. A surprise TV-makeover.
10. Gift certificate to hair removal place.

And, fyi, this has nothing to do with the dream I had last night that I only got doilies and stuffed teddy bears for Christmas.