Monday, November 30, 2009

How dare you Sarah Lee.

Sarah Lee has been trying to screw me over. She thinks I'm stupid. I'm on to her.

Buying bread has always been a sort of dilemma in this household. Me? I like wheat. With birdseedy like pieces in it. Fiber tastes good, what can I say. Jared? Not so much. He is more of a Wonder Bread kind of guy. So we try to find thigns in between... smooth 100% whole grain, honey wheat.. those kinds of things.

Last week we picked up Sarah Lee's 45 calorie honey wheat bread. All I can say is... SHAM! The only difference between the 45 calorie honey wheat and hte regular honey wheat? A thinner slice! Honestly, Sarah.. who do you think you're kidding? Certainly not me.

Sadly, Sarah isn't the only offender. V8 has also been trying to pull the wool over my eyes. We buy V-Fusion because its a cheater's way of eating vegetables. I was searching for some good flavors, and I picked up the "Lite" version of the juice... And I wondered what made it "Lite" flavored. Hmm.. MORE WATER! Yes, it has 50% less sugar and all that jazz, bceause it is 50% water instead of 100% juice!

Jared complains that it takes me too long to shop. This is why. These fools have forced my hand. I must read labels now. I am that person.

I must be cautious. Even my own child is trying to trick me. He makes farts so juicy sounding that I am certain I need to change him... Smells like a poop, sounds like a poop.. should be a poop, no? Apparently not. This baby has farts so explosive, with such mature timbre and perfect pitch... you'd think you were in a nursing home after bean burrito night.

Something else tricky about him? He does things that make me all excited, and then refuses to do them again. Ever. Like razzing. You have no idae how happy that crazy noise made me. He did it probably 3-4 days in a row several times a day. Now..? Nothing.

Rolling over from his back to his stomach? He had that down for over a week. These past 5 days? Nope. The only rolls I've been seeing are on The Biggest Loser.

"Lau" has been replaced with "Ah-OOoooo" which I find sort of creepy. Sounds like he is saying "ow' all the time and/or howling at the moon like a werewolf. He keeps switching things up with me and I can't keep track of what he's doing.

His new skill? Sitting. I sit him up inside his little boppy pillow and he balances for maybe 3 seconds before falling over. I find that highliy impressive. If you let him hold your fingers to balance, he can sit almost indefinably. But will this last? Who knows.

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