Friday, May 8, 2009

Strangers beware.

If I had $34 to burn, I might purchase this tshirt which reads: "Unless you're the person who put this baby IN here or the person who'll take this baby OUT, then you are NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH MY BELLY!" 

I went down to the lobby to mail something and I ran into a Toucher. Somebody I've never seen in my life who wanted to touch my belly, which I feel really isn't even that big yet. (Unless I try to put on regular pants. In that case, it is huge.)

I was standing at the front desk waiting for a tour group to move out of my way and The Toucher attacked. I almost elbowed her in the face because: 1. She surprised me, coming up all sneaky-like behind me. and 2. She was short, I am tall, its just something that could've easily happened.

This woman was crazy. She reaked of cigarette stink, and she was wearing a fringed leather jacket. It is more than 70 degrees outside. She is such a dedicated smoker that her skin has shriveled to nothing and everything about her looks yellow. While she was talking at me, all I could think was "....I'm talking to a shrunken head. This woman has a shrunken head." The leathery yellow skin and the freaky black ponytail really did her in.
I honestly can't even remember what she said to me. Some blathering about when am I due, pregnancy is so exciting etc etc probably, but I honestly can't remember what she said. I was WAY too freaked out. And I mean really freaked out, because honestly... who wouldn't be freaked out by a shrunken headed lady wearing a biker's jacket? Exactly. I need a witty pregnancy t-shirt to keep the weirdos away.

Besides The Toucher, today has been mostly normal:

Apartment guy is fixing something that I had a problem with in the apartment. How nice of him. Thats why he didn't call us earlier. We're going to meet up with him later this afternoon.

I woke up early this morning to pee (per usual) and Babyzilla wasn't moving. I kind of freaked out because he always moves somewhere between 8-8:30. I poked at my stomach, made loud noises at him and still he didn't wake up. Then I got up, drank a freezing cold soda and TA DA! He woke up.

I had a really strange obsessive thought this morning after drinking that soda. Since I'm a good bit larger than I was before, and I'm only a total of 5.5 pounds heavier... Does that mean I'm less dense? (Physically, not intellectually before I get any smart comments out of any of you. :P) I was always the one lagging behind when it came to the floating tasks in swimming lessons, so I REALLY feel like I have to go swimming to see if I float better now. BUT!

That would mean putting on a swimming suit, shaving my legs, and going all the way to the rec center pool. I don't know how plausible that is.

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