Introducing Babyzilla

Today is looking hopeful! I just found a new apartment listing from a nice old guy, and I'm going to go look at it today. Its a bit farther out, but its cheaper so... Who knows? Maybe it'll knock our #1 out of the runnings.

For everyone so excited to meet Babyzilla, I have composed his profile for your enjoyment:

Legal Name: TBA

Nick Names: Babyzilla, The Baby, Boy

Likes: Amniotic fluid, Kellogg's Raisin Bran, robots, & ice cream cake.

Dislikes: UDS Kielbasa, tomato sauce, Perkins omelets, litter boxes, flashlights on my uterus.

Favorite activities: Moshing, roundhouse kicking my ovaries, long walks on the beach.

Least favorite activities: Sleeping, lying still.

Height: 11 inches, head to toe.

Weight: 13 ounces.

Age: 20 weeks & 3 days

Aspirations for when he grows up: Brain surgeon, NASA engineer, Nobel Peace Prize winner, &  billionaire. (Simultaneously, of course.)

The good, bad, & the ugly.

Hmm... Well.. this could be along post but since I'd like to get down to breakfast soon, I'll try to shorten it a bit.

A lot of bad things happened this week, including:

1. Exposing myself to mercury. Oops. Somebody left a thermometer on the table, and I set a book on it and broke it, saw the little silver balls of mercury and promptly ran out of the room crying. It was a good time.

2. Apartment guy canceled. Again. And again. And then he had a showing appointment open on Thursday, which I thought we could go to but then Jared said wait, no, we can't go. He had to do something for work or I don't know what. But then, we had our appointment on Saturday to look at it and by that time somebody who went to the Thursday showing had already taken the apartment. Disappointing.

3. I barfed. For no reason, other than that maybe the roast beef didn't taste too good.

4. My car broke down, and I had to get it towed and I've been without it since. Not that I usually need my car, but still.. Knowing I can't go anywhere is bugging me more than not actually being able to go anywhere. The people at the dealership were kinda thinking I was stupid, like I didn't know how to drive my stick shift car, even though I've been driving it sans problems for the past two years. It is, however, still under warrantee so the towing and all that was covered.

5.  I have mystery sharp pain in my side. At first I thought, hey, more round ligament pain, but this hasn't gone away like my other muscle-pull type hurts. It feels like a really sharp sort of pressure. Thats the best way I can describe it. It only hurts if: 1. I push on it. 2. I am curled up tight enough to push on it.  3. After I pee I stand upright. and 4. random other times. I am contemplating taking some pain meds here, but I'm trying to hold off in case I don't have to.

6. My computer has broken (hence the lack of posting) mysteriously. Well, not so mysteriously now. I learned that a common problem with upgrading to leopard is that the computer kicks you off of being admin. Which means, in my case, that when I was halfway through downloading the new Firefox and it asked for permission, I couldn't authorize it and thus I couldn't use firefox anymore. So... I've not got a working browser, and that is more than annoying but I can word process to my heart's content. I was going to take it in to be fixed (for free, yay!) on Friday but since my car broke, well, I couldn't get to the mall anymore and didn't trust riding the 16 bus with my computer.

Since that was a lot of complaining (and not even in my usual witty style!) I'll write about the good things that've happened this week:

1. First and foremost, I AM HALFWAY DONE with being pregnant. It seems like I still have forever to go but, you know, for right now I'll take halfway. If it weren't such a ridiculous idea, I'd order myself a dang ice cream cake because I have been dreaming and dreaming about one, and I've convinced Jared that somehow, I need to have an ice cream cake when the baby is born. It'll be my bribe to get through it all, I guess. lol

2. I got full points on my lab despite barfing in the middle of it.

3. Today there is going to be TURKEY SAUSAGE in UDS, along with french toast. It'll be good eating for me once they open.

4. I got a nice letter from my brother. It made me feel better after crappy apartment guy told me the apartment had been leased. Its always nice to get mail.

5. Yesterday Jared & I looked at a couple of new (and probably 10 times better-er! at least thats what I'm telling myself to make myself feel better) apartments. We're considering one that is right on University, about a 20 minute walk. Its in Prospect Park so its a nice area, and its very close to a Cub Foods, a Rainbow Foods, & Walmart (even though that one is pretty ghetto.) The landlord seeme very nice, adn there isn't any one thing that I really dislike about it so we very well may apply for it. We're supposed to discuss it over turkey sausage this morning.

6. I shaved my legs again, and I've been able to wear shorts. That is good because it is DANG hot up in here with the heat still turned on in some buildings. Its like they're trying to turn Babyzilla into a hard boiled egg or something.

7. Yesterday, in stead of crying when I hit my forehead on the shower stall, I laughed maniacally. I mean, I'm not sure maniacal laughing is really that much better than crying, but in my mind... hey, its one less time of me crying. When I think about it, the situation is pretty funny. I was in one of the tiny stalls because my usual shower was occupied, and I dropped my shampoo and went to bend over and BAM hit my forehead on the wall of the shower. That startled me so much that I stood bolt upright so fast that I hit my back on the shower knob, leaving a red mark on my back which looked eerily like a winking cartoon sailor. LOL Guess I didn't raelize the stall was THAT small, and without my contacts I am mostly blind so... You know. Thats my excuse. (Also, I managed to shave my legs in that tiny stall. Feat of skill!)

8. Jared got new shoes. We shoe shopped without drama. And now I can hide his boots in the closet until he needs something he can geocache in. No more stinky Jared shoes!

9. I opened a library account, and checked out baby name books & a leisure read. Also, I have gone for a walk almost every day this week. I get winded walking (how lame!) but I think it makes me feel better when I get back.

Today has sucked. My apologies in advance.

I don't know why today sucked so much, but I've been feeling sad since I woke up. Maybe its that this morning was cloudy and I didn't want to be awake so early. Of course, I don't really have much of a choice anymore... Either I wake up, or I'll pee the bed. But anyway, I got up this morning, went to the bathroom, and then tried to lie back down to sleep but babyzilla just kept nudging me on the inside. And I just wanted to sleep so much that I admit, I got angry at the baby. Which, of course, only made me feel worse because I know he didn't do anything and it is ridiculous to be angry at him for just being awake and moving, but I was angry and I couldn't help it. Then, when I wasn't angry anymore, I was horrified that I could even think of blaming the baby for anything. I am the master of guilt - its something Catholic school instilled in me. Its probably why my parents rarely had to punish me, because I already felt shitty enough whenever I did anything bad. Usually, I felt guilty even before I ever did anything bad, which I think probably prevented me from doing a lot of bad/fun things. But anyway, there I was... feeling guilty and thinkign I was going to be the worst parent in the world.

So then I got up, and I tried to distract myself and force myself into being happy. I'm a big believer in being able to force yourself into happiness, and I think it was working out pretty well for a while. I took a nice long shower, and shaved my legs. I stood in front of my closet trying to pick out clothes that would say "I would be a great tenant. I am clean & responsible." (while at the same time not looking contrived) for when I went to look at the apartment. Then I got a phone call, and they canceled the showing. For some reason, it really threw me back into my funk. There I was, pulling myself together and making myself look all nice for the apartment guy, and it all fell through. It kinda felt like spending all day getting ready to go out on a date, only to have the other person cancel at the last minute and make you feel like crap. Its stupid, I know, but thats what it felt like.

So then after that I went online and read other people's baby blogs. Sometimes this makes me feel better because I can see that there are far less capable people than I having babies and raising them. One of my favorite bloggers is so ridiculous that she purposely and severely constipated herself. Her thinking was that if she was so backed up, it would be like practicing pushing for the birth of her child. Yeah, she was comparing pooping to birthing her child. I mean, I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure there is a difference in there somewhere. But anyway, she was stupid enough to try that and all she got out of it was a nasty case of hemorrhoids and interesting blog fodder.

But today wasn't a day where reading other people's blogs comforted me. Instead, I just worried that I might be as stupid as they are and not able to notice the stupidity traits in myself. You know, kind of the splinter vs beam in the eye situation.

Jared realized I wasn't feeling so great today so he suggested that we get out and do something. We went to the mall and walked around, and I did feel a little better. We went looking for a plain grey maternity zip up hoodie, but we couldn't find one. Going into maternity stores isn't the greatest thing for me, because usually I just feel out of place. I'm not the serene earth mom who really would fit in with the usual Motherhood Maternity crowd. The clothes aren't really my style, and I'm paranoid that everyone is whispering about how young or unmarried I am. (Catholic guilt again.) I mean, I know most people probably don't even notice or even care but once I think about something its hard to push out of my mind. Thats probably the biggest problem I have... I can recognize and realize when I'm being irrational, but at the same time I don't know how to stop it. I hate that I can't control myself enough not to cry at TV shows with sick babies or get angry at Jared for leaving his socks everywhere. I could sense that I wasn't being helped by the maternity store ambiance, so I suggested that we go looking for new shoes for Jared.
'

In hindsight, this was a bad bad idea. The issue of Jared's shoes has been bugging me for a long long time. He has been wearing the biggest, clunkiest, ugliest boots for the longest time now, and I hate them. I want them gone. They are hiking boots. (See the attached photo. They are bigger, clunkier, and uglier in real life.) If he were hiking the Adirondacks, maybe I would accept them. But.. since we're in urban Minneapolis, they need to go. Sometimes he gets dressed int he cutest ever shirts, and he looks absolutely adorable and attractive and then... he puts on The Boots, and thats all I can look at after that. Every other cuteness factor gets negated by those damn boots. So hated are they that I actually seriously contemplated having one of them mysteriously and "accidentally" end up in a dumpster somewhere. I hate hate hate his hiking boots.

But anyway, we were off to a good start. He found a pair that he liked, and was convinced he should just try them on and buy them. No need to look at other pairs, right? Jared's idea of shopping is usually just seeing something, liking it, purchasing it. There is no "shopping" with Jared, only grabbing and buying.

So, like a madwoman, I continued to look at the other shoes. Even though I thought the ones he liked were pretty good looking, they were pretty swanky upscale looking tennis shoes and I didn't know how they'd stand up to Jared's abuse. And also... Who knows? Maybe an even greater find was lurking 20 feet down the row. That was my first mistake.

Jared found a pair of really heavy duty clod hopping hiking shoes. I'll give it to him that true, they weren't boots but they were as close as they could get to boots. They were the same brand as the offending hiking boots, so I was quick to put the kibosh on them. I shouldn't have done that. I should've just said that I liked the other ones better. I shouldn't ever bring up how much I hate hate hate his hiking boots. I should've just pretended like I thought the first shoes were the greatest int he world.

But anyway... we started to bicker over the whole shoes thing. Any shoe with a bit of white/cream/light grey was out of the picture because it would get dirty. I tried to tell Jared that you just wear your regular shoes for say, walking to class, wandering around the mall, and you use other shoes for say, geocaching through muck or walking unshoveled sidewalks. I even implied that he could wear his boots for the activities that would get shoes with any infinitesimal amount of light colouredness dirty. But that was too much. I shouldn't have pushed him and a full blown storm was upon us.

The fight about shoes quickly became a big deal to me. I mean, Jared & I fight and we always have but now its like any fight is a gigantic cry fest for me. Somehow I extended the fight about shoes into how hard it is to be pregnant. I guess its never that far from my mind because I can guarantee that something about me being pregnant is going to come into any fight that we will have in the next however many months. I guess, from my point of view, being pregnant has changed everything so I can offer it up as an excuse to why I am, for instance, crying and making a scene over what shoes my boyfriend does or does not buy.

But then Jared said something that just super pushed me over the edge, even if he did retract the statement when he was no longer upset with me. He said:

"I don't think being pregnant has even changed your life much."

I went crazy, its true. There was no way I was going to be able to stop crying over that. I was back and forth between wanting to murder Jared and wondering if I'm just being a big baby over this entire pregnant thing. Of course its changed a lot for me, right?

I mean... even if no one thing is so bad, it still sucks to be just generally uncomfortable all the time. It sucks to have to genuinely worry about what I'm going to be doing int he future, because now its not just my life that would be ruined if I didn't plan right. I can't even forget that I'm pregnant because even when I'm not being nudged from the inside, I can still tell that I don't have the energy/balance/stomach capacity that I did before. I hate that some of my friends are going to be lost because we'll be running in such different circles. They're not going to want to be heading to the zoo and looking at ducks int eh park when they could be sleeping all day and going to obscure indie films by night. I don't blame them, but still... I'm going to miss them and I'm scared I'm going to be awfully lonely without them. I know I can make new friends but thats a daunting enough thought without having to juggle everything else I've got going on. I guess mostly it comes down to me being scared.

And I don't want you to think I'm not ever excited or happy, because I am. As much as I hate being pregnant I'm so excited to meet my baby. I'm probably happy more hours than not, but sometimes its hard to remember the happy times when I feel like everything sucks so much. Its easier to just blog about everything thats bothering me because then I can see how much I'm whining over a bunch of nothing. I guess its a sort of perspective.

So probably what I'm trying to say is, don't worry that I'm never happy or that I'm not looking forward to the baby. I am. I just get taken over by the bad things sometimes and I have to write about them, even if its in rambling grammatically incorrect sentences. Jared & I have called a truce and we're going to try to start the whole "be happy" thing over again. We're going to walk to DQ and enjoy a value menu sundae together. Because ice cream makes everyone happier, right?

Rummaging.

My favorite robot onesie. Its a bad picture because I stole it off the internet.

Okay... So we did a fair amount of garage sale bargain hunting today. I got some good buys at mostly 50 cents a piece. I came home with 10 or so outfits in a bigger size, so he has something to wear in the winter. My favorite finds of the day? A blue onesie shirt with a robot on it, a shirt and pants set that is cowboy themed - complete with the look of soft baby chaps, and an adorable blue red & grey puppy number.

My sister picked up some gender neutral outfits, and a pack & play that looks pretty much new. We ate some Taco Bell (delicious) and then stopped by at a pyramid scheme presentation in hopes of getting free cookies & spa treatments. (We got the cookies. No dice on the spa treatments.)

We stopped at a couple consignment shops which had clothing for sale at much higher prices than the garage sales, but also a vast selection.  One of the consignment hsops was decidedly mexican and had a strange smell, so... that was interesting. 

Jared apparently also had an interesting day. He had to train for the musical presentation number that they put on for new students. It was especially awkward because he has to sing a song about avoiding pregnancies... oops. A bit hipocritical on that one.  (I had a good time when he showed me his little dance. Jared isn't exactly a performer, but he was trying hard.)

Also, because Jared is so thrilled with robot onesie (and I was too), I was thinking I may do a robot theme. Because, well.. robots are cool and different than what every other baby boy has.

OH YEAH! Also, I spotted another one of those tricksy Mourning Cloak butterflies. But, alas, I was carrying in my baby clothes haul and I couldn't chase after it. Someday, it shall be mine!

That elusive Mourning Cloak...

Okay.. Today was pretty good. I went to lab, which was not good but needed to be done. It was incredibly stupid because the stuff in lab wasn't working properly, everyone was angry, etc etc.

But then, after lab I drove Kari to pick up her new sweet ride. We drove it around a bit to try and figure otu the various features, and then ate lunch at DQ. Then I did some boring stuff, followed by hunting for the MOURNING CLOAK BUTTERFLY. We saw one, but we weren't good enough to catch it. I've been seeing them around campus, and I've decided that I need one. So... the search is on.

Jared really likes butterfly hunting, and I relaly like watching Jared butterfly hunt. Its a win win situation. 

Tomorrow I am rummage sale-ing like crazy with my sister Elisa, and Sunday I'm going to an apartment showing. I hope we like the apartment and everything about it turns out ot be awesome, because right now its our best prospect.

I'm too spastic right now to type anything else. I must go look up every single 19 weeks pregnant article ont eh web, and read through them at least two-three times.

Babyzilla.

Jared, while talking to my stomach (and therefore the baby) while I eat a granola bar:

"You just wait. We're going to have adventures and kick ass."

The baby has come to be known as Babyzilla, for his ability to make me breathe fire with heartburn. Jared's favorite thing is to poke at my stomach and see if he can make BZ poke me back. I can't say its my favorite thing. For one, its a bit distracting, but I do admit... its cute.

We may be having what some people call an "active" child...

His head is to the left, legs on the right. The bright white lines are the skull, spine, & leg bones.

As promised, I'll update y'all about my doctor's visit today. It was a doozie. I'm not kidding. How many people can say they've had an ultrasound last over an hour long? I can. Apparently my son was a bit hyperactive today and they couldn't get all of the pictures they needed. I think he got angry that they were rubbing my stomach so much that he sort of spazzed out. I could feel it and it wasn't really a pleasant thing. Out of the 50-some pictures they took, the one shown above is the best one I've got. So maybe he's not so photogenic? Well, neither are his parents. I don't blame him. If you want a bit better view, you can click the image to make it larger.

This is one of his left foot. It has all the necessary toes.

At one point we had three people in the room taking turns with the transducer trying to get all of the shots they needed. It was a regular old party in my exam room - if only I hadn't forgotten to bring the sparkling cider. Every person who peeked into the room exclaimed something along the lines of "What a big beautiful boy you've got there!" Big!? Take that back, now! My child is going to be petite! About the only thing he was willing to show us was his *ahem* boy parts. Again, and again, and again. I may have to speak to him about some modesty issues. I have probably 4 pictures of his little fetus penis.

Yep. More proof he's a boy.

Lets see now... Any other news.. hmm..

Well, okay. Here is an interesting story: Yesterday I was int he dining hall, and I am tapped on the shoulder by one of the cooks who says, "So... you're the pregnant one who fainted in here! How are you doing?"

Well, I guess I am "the pregnant one" around these parts.

Me: "I'm doing fine, just getting some food."
Cook: "You're planning on breastfeeding, right?"

Apparently this is everybody's business. Even the pasta cook's.

Me: "Yeah, I'm going to try to."
Cook: "Thats great! But you should really be working on your grammar. Your baby will pick up those bad habits from you. Its not correct to end a sentence with a preposition."

I actually laughed at this point. I'm pretty sure that if the worst grammar thing my kid picks up from me is ending sentences iwth prepositions, I'll be okay. And, after all, this is coming from a cook whom I have spoken maybe 20-30 words to the entire time I've lived here... And now she is giving me advice.

I'd known this would happen, but at the same time... I didn't expect it from the UDS cook. Oh well, que sera, sera. At least she didn't try to touch my stomach with her icky rubber gloves.

Easter. & Pouting.

Okay... I know there was more I wanted to post about but I can't really remember it so I'll just talk my piece about Easter and then I'll complain the rest of the time to fit my quota of blogging length.

Easter was good. I got a pillow to cuddle because Jared was tired of me saying "My back hurts. Rub my back. Now."  Also, I got stretch mark cream for my stretch marks, but before you go ahead and yell at Jared for buying his girlfriend stretch mark cream, I asked for it. I am happy.

Also, my parents sent me an Easter basket, which was the highlight of my week. I will never be too old for Easter baskets. I will steal them from my child later on, if I have to. I am already starting to live vicariously through my child, unborn though he may be. He has received so much more fan mail and presents than I have in a LONG long time. It's probably good practice for Christmas, when I will no longer be the baby and therefore my quality of gifts will decline. Do I sound bitter? I might be. I like presents, but hopefully I can be hormonally tricked into believing the whole "having a child is its own present" schpeel. 

On Easter day, Jared & I went to Christa's for super brunch fun time. I made a quiche, cinnamon rolls, & breakfast meat. The quiche was good, but I sorta wanted it ot have more colour. Jared disagrees, as he dislikes quiche (unknown to me before Sunday.) The cinnamon rolls were the highlight, considering I had to use yeast and I hand kneaded them and they STILL turned out. Yum. On the way back to my room, Jared & I spotted a MOURNING CLOAK BUTTERFLY. I'd known they are supposed to live around here, but having never seen one I didn't really believe it. And then, we saw it, and we were amazed. Jared wanted to go catch it for my collection but I couldn't have brought myself to kill it. It is the first butterfly I've seen of the year, and being hte first of its kind for me to see.. I thought it was too special. 

How pretty is that?

Today I was disappointed to realize that the only stations Jared & I can peacefully agree on are oldies stations. In fact, on Saturday we were driving somewhere and I was pissed at Jared because he always balls his socks up and then when they get washed, they aren't thoroughly cleaned. (True story. I've been mad at him for less.) But anyway.. we were pretty much driving in silence until the song "Age of Aquarius" comes on and Jared starts to completely jam out. Legitimately, completely, 100% cymbals-on-the-dashboard jam out. It was so funny, I wasn't even mad at him anymore. He does stuff like that so often, that I'm starting to think thats why I love him.

Tomorrow, I've got another ultrasound appointment to go to. (Seems like I've been to about 9 million of these.. don't get me wrong, I like ultrasounds but I hate teh goo and I hate paying for parking and getting up early to look presentable for the doctor.) I'll be sure to post pictures for you when I can. My biggest fear (after watching a TLC show) is that there are secretly two babies in there, and one has been hiding behind the other the whole time. 

I certainly feel enough like a sausage to believe there are two in there. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm excited to be getting a baby but at the same time I curse pregnancy every day. I am pretty sure the people who said they enjoyed pregnancy so much are either 1.) delusional  2.) faking liars or 3.) refugees that've spent every other day of their lives in a horrible tortured, war torn state. Every morning I have to pee so badly that when I stand up and my big ol' uterus plops down onto my bladder, it is like being stabbed in the bladder. (After all, my uterus is now the size of a generously proportioned CANTALOUPE. Nasty.) I've never had such severe pee pains before. The other annoying thing is that I can wake up every morning and some part of me is sore. That is assuming that I've gotten sleep at all. It is so ahrd to stay on my back all night that I keep waking up with the lower half of my body asleep and tingling, and many nights my rest is WAY less than restful after the amount of repositioning I've had to do. 

I've been getting nosebleeds like crazy. Every once in a while I wake up and my first thought is taht I've murdered somebody, until I remember that I have this propensity for bleeding out of my face while I sleep. My stretch marks itch. My face is greasy 5 minutes after I wash it. None of my old clothes fit me. But that, my friends, even all of that, is not the worst part. Here is the worst part:

SAUSAGE SYNDROME. (Yeah, that is pretty much a medical term.) I call it Sausage Sydrome (which is conveniently shortened to SS, and has similar connotations as the German SS) because if I had to choose something to represent my life right now, it would bea sausage. Trying to fit into some of my old clothes is probably the first usage of the term, but it has expanded FAR beyond that now. Even when comepletely naked, I still feel like a sausage. I feel like I have ALWAYS just eaten a 5 course meal. There isn't enough room in this inn to say, eat even 2 pieces of french toast without laying down some serious hurt. When I lie on my side, I feel like my stomach is flopping out and pulling the rest of my organs with it. I just feel so tight and stuffed that there is no other way of explaining it, except to say that I have become a sausage.

Further evidence pregnancy took over my mind.

Okay, I know this will sound really crazy, and that half of my readership (approx 1.5 people) may wish to stop associating with me. BUT... for the sake of self deprecating humor, I'll throw this out there:

I have been seeing the grim reaper. I know, I know... before you say anything about the grim reaper not existing, well... I don't care. Last night I was lying on my futon, and I looked up in a semi-conscious state and was freaked out by a black blanket draped over my loft. It had been bunched up in just a way that it looked incredibly like the grim reaper's hooded cloak. After a momentary startle, I was okay and I stood up and moved the blanket so it was no longer so ominous looking.

But then, just before daylight this morning, I woke up and looked up at my loft again to see... THE GRIM REAPER. Only this time, not only was it my black blanket draped like a hood, it was draped like a hood over the top of my favorite stuffed bear. Don't tell me that isn't freaky, because it is.

Now, I'm not a superstitious person and I didn't take that as an omen of death or anything, but... still. I admit it creeped me out. I went back to bed, and had a dream that I went horseback riding only to realize too late (after crossing a fiery bridge, of course) that the four horsemen I was riding with were THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE.


I'll admit, that was a freaky dream. I don't know that I was even really conscious of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. In fact, if somebody had asked me about it before today, I probably would have said "I don't know." Then, to top it off, I even recalled the horsemen's names. (Yeah, I know. They have names. They are: Pestilence, War, Famine & Death.) So that would lead a person in a susceptible state of mind to conclude that either: 1.) I paid a lot more attention to Fr. Martin's freaky end-times lectures than I thought, and I am an incredible student OR 2.) The grim reaper is out to get me, and is whispering these freaking knowledges into my brain.

Now, being the non-superstitious person I am, I chose to believe option one. In an attempt to laugh it off, I pulled down the black blanket and looked at it. Then it came to me: I have no idea where this blanket came from or how I got it. Feeling a little stupid, I looked all over for a tag. None existed. I probably sat for 3 whole minutes trying to remember how I acquired that blanket, but I haven't the faintest. So... again, that could lead a person in a susceptible state of mind to conclude that either: 1.) I am a forgetful person (who can still somehow remember all fo the names of The Four Horsemen) and I probably stole the blanket from a friend, sister, etc and never returned it. OR 2.) The blanket found its way to me through Fate, and was actually hand-knit by the satanic knitting needles of Lucifer himself.

Again, I choose option number 1. But still... You can't blame me for being a bit weirded out.

(But seriously, don't be sending me any packages containing skulls or scythes or anything.)

Somebody here is mistaken...

I went to the doctor today, and this time I actually had somebody I liked. I might try to make her my doctor all the time. If only I could remember her name now...

But anyway, we were listening to my belly and she said she could hear the baby moving. I don't know that I believe her. I'm sure you can hear movement with those things, but in my case I am pretty sure either I was squirming or she was able to pick up on the tremendous gas I have after eating bran cereal and pears this morning. When we picked up the movement noises, it really did feel like gas.

So.. either the doctor is mistaken, and she thinks my gas is my baby (possible)

OR

I am mistaken, and I think my baby is gas (plausible). I don't know which one is worse.

But anyway... We were taken into a pretty scary exam room this time. Complete with a GIANT 3'x5' vagina/perenium/episiotomy poster. I think it freaked Jared out, but he wasn't willing to admit it. What freaked me out was a cartoonized poster of the menstrual cycle. It was like freaky comic book gore. A different poster actually had real photos of placenta & meconium. Sick.

Wouldn't this freak you out?

You'd think they'd find a way to make medical posters seem a little less imposing, but no. That poster is the one I'll have nightmares about later.

Why is baby stuff so hard to figure out?!

I had a pretty busy weekend so I've got lots to write about.

On Friday, Jared & I went for a walk/geocached and ate malts for dinner. (Thanks for the gift card!) After dinner, we went across the street to Target and started making our registry. It turned out that we needed a lot more stuff than we thought, so we quit when we got tired and went home. Saturday we finished the registry, ran errands, and played video games. On Sunday, we went to the grocery store, stopped by my sister's house to clean the cat box, and did homework/ attempted to start laundry.

Now, most of that stuff is pretty boring so I'll tell you about the registry. First off, it is way longer than I ever thought it would be. I felt super greedy just wandering the aisles with a scanner and going "I need this. *beep* Oh, we'll need one of these too. *beep*" Part of me sort of feels like if people are going to give us a gift, they deserve to be able to pick it out themselves & choose something they like. But, at the same time, I feel like some of the items I've chosen do reflect my individual parenting style (or at least, how I want my parenting style to be) and I really wouldn't want to go another way. For instance, I've researched (online & through word of mouth) my car seat/stroller, monitor, diaper bag, & bottles, and I know those are the ones that I want. On the other things, though, I don't have as much of a preference - I just know that I will need one of whatever item it is so I put the best looking option on my list. Other parents may very well know that one brand is better than another or if a certain style is preferable, but at this point in time the best I could do was scan what looked best in the store. So, if you're reading this and you're going to buy something off my registry, recognize that its not a binding document. Feel free to use your own personal knowledge to assist you in your purchasing.

With my qualms about the registry aside, I had other, less theological problems in Target. Case in point: I was on my hands and knees trying to figure out the "easy" folding mechanism of almost every single stroller I looked at. Many of these strollers are so-called "one handed" operation. Yeah right. Most of the one-handed-folders required somebody with gigantic, very very strong hands and the ability to do an elaborate fluid motion with utmost precision. Grasp the button wrong/not tightly enough? The stroller won't budge. Can't shake your wrist in the exact motion needed? The stroller quivers and bends for a second before snapping back into its starting posture. Needless to say, I looked like an idiot. A lot of moms passed by us and gave us a "Yeah-I-know-how-impossibly-hard-it-is-but-you'll-get-used-to-it" look. At least I'm not alone.

Other problem I had? I had to take a potty break halfway through the experience, and I somehow got hte back of my jeans caught on the stall door latch. I couldn't see what I was doing, and I was so perfectly wedged into the corner that I couldn't really reach my hand back to feel anything... So, I kind of had to do a ridiculous dance to unhook my pants from the stall door. I wasn't in there alone, and I'm sure the other people noticed me being weird. Needless to say, I looked like an idiot. Again.

-Me.

P.S. I'm still up in teh air about the swing I put on my registry. On one hand, lots of people swear by the cradle swing and say its the greatest thing on the planet. On the other hand, a regular swing can be purchased which takes up less space and is also less expensive. Your thoughts?

Learning about CLAY.

I took my test this morning, and it was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. I learned a billion different types of clay, and there was only one question about clays. I couldn't believe the test was so easy that I finished in under half an hour. Ridiculous.

Today is off to a good start.

1.) It is sunny out today & the birds were singing, so I waited for the bus outside of the shelter and tried to expose my skin to the sun for some vitamin D.

2.) The bluebells I really enjoy are starting to pop up on the Saint Paul campus. Also, I got to see some people working with the raptors and teaching them to fly and attack things. It was pretty exciting.

3.) Today is NACHO STUPENDO in the dining hall. Mmm... fake nacho cheese, taco meat, lettuce, refried beans.. mmm.. Plus, then I can tell Jared I ate protein today.

4.) I am 17 weeks today, which means that I am 42.5% of the way done. Go me! The baby is supposed to be somewhere near 5 inches, and he's going to gain 6 times his body weight in the next month. Freaky.

Today on the bus a mom and her teenage son were completely lost. I decided my good deed for the day would be to walk them to where they were going on campus, and then they decided they needed to go to the absolutely farthest building away. Oh well, it worked out well for all of us. The mom got a mini tour of campus, the boy finally got his mom to put away the map and stop looking so lost, and I got some exercise. Win!

Yeah, we're awesome.

Also, here is a photo of my sister Deidra and I with a Coelacanth scale model. Who could resist a photo-op like that?! Its my favorite prehistoric fish. It was alive 365 million years ago, and it still is today. I think thats pretty cool.

UDS never has good food.

I went down to eat UDS but then realized they weren't serving anything I'd eat so I came back up and decided to add a bit to the blog. I can't believe only two people have voted on hotdog vs dinosaur. Could it be that you people actually don't care whether or not our baby is dressed as unhealthy food or an extinct lizard!?

I've had to ration my bagels because they're my favorite thing to eat now. Jared tried to make me macaroni and cheese last night, but he sort of failed. Or... completely failed, rather. It ended up being macaroni soup again. He ate it, and I had cereal. It was the thought that counted.

I've got a test Friday that I really don't want to take or study for, but I must. Also I've been getting super nasty hiccups that really hurt my throat/chest. I'm pretty much ready to be done with this whole being pregnant thing, now.

-Me.