Oliver and I visited my friend Jessica's family last night. I sort of watched the Superbowl while my baby was passed around. He was having a good time flirting with everyone, smiling and talking. They asked, "Is he always like this?"
And I said yes.
Because I had already forgotten that he was screaming for the last 10 minutes of the car ride there. And I had forgotten about the day earlier that week when the only thing he wanted was to drink out of my cup or pinch my boobs or rip out my hair. I forget all of these things when he is sleeping on my lap or letting me cuddle him while I read my email.
And honestly, even when I remember his "bad" moments they're pretty funny. He is baby and he does no wrong. A baby rips off his father's glasses and shoves them into his runny baby poop? That's comedic gold. That one could've been America's Funniest Video's grand prize winner. (Yes, my baby is even funnier than a dog chasing a donut on a stick, the winner of last week's grand prize.) Naughty or nice, everything he does is funny, adorable, endearing - assuming you have the proper perspective.
The older he gets, the more fun it is to be around him and the more I like him. He is only 4 months old and he has already gone through so many stages. Allow me to illustrate:
Stage 1: Paperweight. Baby does not move. Baby mostly looks nice and sits there.
Stage 2. Paperweight with eyesight. Baby still does not move but may be able to see the book you're reading to him. Maybe.
Stage 3: Sea anemone. Baby flails arms about with little to no control, much like a sea anemone's tentacles would wave in the ocean's current. Also, baby is mute. Like an anemone. Ever seen a talking anemone? I didn't think so.
Stage 4: Sea anemone with neck control. See above, only imagine that the anemone has a neck and can control it sometimes. Sort of.
Stage 5: Smiling sea anemone with neck control . See stages four and five, and also imagine that said anemone sports a gummy open mouthed smile.
I'll just be honest and say I was stretching it with stages four and five so you can imagine your own stages six and seven here before I jump to:
Stage 8: Awkward puppy. Baby sort of controls arms and legs in a coordinated manner. Sees food and opens mouth to beg. Tongue lolls out and drools. Bites sticks. Chews everything. Pees on your floor. Poops on your floor. Gets excited when people come over. Dislikes taking baths. Enjoys cuddling.
And can you imagine that pretty soon my baby will even surpass trained chimpanzee level?! He will be able to wear a bow tie and other such nonsense, walk on two legs, get into mischief and maybe even star in a B children's movie! Titillating!
And so it is with great pride that I announce the unveiling of SuperAwesomeBlogTime 2.0 to accommodate the burgeoning amounts of awesome we've got going on up in here.
Back in The Olden Days of LessAwesomeBlogTime 1.0, you had to manually dig through the archives if you wanted to reminisce with a favorite post from the past. Not anymore! You are now able to search through my blog posts with the new google bar on the left.
But wait, there's more! Never be caught without the latest blog updates! Keep track of the latest goings on and be alerted when there are new posts by clicking the "follow" button. You know you want to.
And now that I've thoroughly blown your minds with this awesome, I am going to enjoy a shower. Without the baby.
P.S. Yes, that is a chimpanzee. Playing golf. Yes, one day Oliver can top even that primate. Makes me so proud.